Tell me wat do you think of this short writing please?

Question

Over the mountains past the skies there is always a person who has to die.

Over the year that i have grown ill always remember that i had a beautiful home.

As i say goodbye to this world ill always remember that one special girl.

As to my family crying in sorrow just dont forget theres a better tommorrow.

Now that is the end of this short little story just dont forget there will always be glory.

Answer 1

That is bloody brilliant. I love it. You really have a rare talent, wow!

Answer 2

Well i do a lot of writing myself, and i got to tell you this isn't half bad. I like the rhyming, and its interesting that you picked death as the subject. Oh and i would say that you should add punctuation which would make it look better. Keep up the good work!

Answer 3

i think it is great so good it could be in a poemm book thats published exellent work