Tell me what you think and rate?

Question

Words of rappers become plays in the street,

youths carrying knifes live and die by the beat.

Our old wonder why they fought in the wars,

to live in hiding behind their own doors .

Girls want to be s**y long before they’re teens,

so dress up like tarts think their beauty queens

Our leader is prancing on the world’s stage'

he wants his name written on history’s page.

Politics and religion are intertwined,

Marriage of convenience bind lead blind.

young are repressed and old are forgotten

our moral standards in taters down trodden.

Community spirit’s been exercised

I think we should all mourn it’s demise.

Answer 1

well, it could be better..... but just ignore that "Michael" freak. it seems to be his hobby to make poets feel like c**p.

=]

you have a definate start though

build off of that

try not to make it sound like a rap, those types of poems are sort of lame..

maybe switch the format to 4 line stanzas.. just cut each line in half and bump it down.. like this:

Words of rappers

become plays in the street,

youths carrying knifes

live and die by the beat.

great job tho! keep it up!

best of luck

<3

Answer 2

Oh my gosh! I love it! And it's so true about our society today. Harsh, but true. I'd give it a 9 or 10! Congrats!

Answer 3

What the h**l is a tart?

This poem is kind of lame. Honest, in a mellow, nonchalent kind of way, but lame nontheless.

I give it a

5.4/10

Answer 4

i like it i give it a 7