Question:

Tell me what you think of my poem?

by  |  earlier

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Yesterday, as the sun began to set, I watched my children play.

Everything felt right and that ended the last beautiful day.

Today the sun has risen on a new day, some where in a world of lies and shattered dreams.

Unsuspectingly I was deceived and caught in a web of scandelous schemes.

I was lured away from the last beautiful day by my own sin

and found myself in a nightmare, a place I've never been.

Here, headstones of graves mark where destroyed lives lay,

and I found an open grave marked for me, It seems I was to be burried on this day.

Forever to be alone, which echoed from the mouth of those who said they loved me,

but the words spoken were forgotten just as quickly.

Tears rain crimson as it stains, I need shelter from this storm, a place to hide.

Hungry, I pleaded for your help, cause I needed some where to reside.

But all love looks on when blind to wrong or right.

You never knew I was gone when I left your sight.

Just like our parents when we were kids, you abandoned me too when you slammed your door.

So now I dont have any one, dont need any one and I dont want any one any more,

Cause it hurts to much to believe in hopes and dreams and to be taken back to the last beautiful day.

Every time you tell me you love me , we're family and then have it taken away,

cause its lies, lies, nothing but lies, lies telling lies telling lies.

I cant see the truth cause you turned your back on me, I cant see your eyes.

I've been through this before through out my cancerous season.

You quit on me never knowing why and never giving a reason.

So I'll leave you to yours and I'll go and be on my way.

But some place, some where, some how I'll find the way, back to the last beautiful day.

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3 ANSWERS


  1. I love it, it sounds like it could be made into a song if you wanna. Very deep, you are truely talented.


  2. Wow. It's amazing! I write poems in my spare time, or whenever I feel like it, but they're no where near this good. You have some real talent. =D Song, poem...whatever! It'd sound great either way. Keep writing, and bless us with more of your poems.  

  3. It sounds like it should be a song, but it's good either way!

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