Tell me what you think... older men

Question

Im 20 and he is 34, I got married when I was 17 to the guy I lost my virginity to we were married for 3 years and are now divorced (no children) He has never been married and looks really young for his age, and we enjoy talking to eachother, we have only hung out outside of work once at a company event that ended up at the bar. We had a good time together and we have alot in common... I'm just not sure on the age gap.. what do you guys think?

Answer 1

14 years is not such a big gap but of course it depends a lot on your relative stages of self-realisation. I would say, explore it to the full, but don't rush. Take a couple of years to get to know each other intimately and see then if you both feel like making a real commitment.

I'd also recommend living with someone for at least 6 months to a year before doing anything major like marriage. You can never truly know how you'll get on unless you've had the opportunity to really p**s each other off, and for that there's nothing that will test the water better than cohabitation.

Answer 2

I think that would be a mistake.  He's a bit too old for you.  By this time in his life he's going to have a lot of different ideas than you do at 20.  Pass it up.  

Answer 3

The only giude I'm aware of is the following:

divide his age in half and add seven that is the low end of the gap range so......34/2+7=24

My daughter married a fellow and the age gap was even larger than your considering. It only lasted 2.5 years. He didn't even see life the same as she. she was starting out he was well on his way.  

Answer 4

When in doubt, don't.

Relationships are composed of a million details, some delightful, others problematic with no clear lines between the delights and the problems. Age is only one of those details. If the total has you doubtful enough to post the doubts on the internet, you should probably not take it too seriously. Appearances don't mean much. I have a 30 year old niece who looks 12 (Turner Syndrome) and acts 40.

Food for thought: at 20 with a divorce under your belt, maybe your attracted to older men for the safety factor: emotional stability (theoretically) without so much marriage potential. You need to get to know yourself before you jump on the couple wagon again.

Answer 5

If you were married at such a young age, you probably have the maturity level to date an older man because while your friends were out partying, you were already settling down and managing a household. And even though you're divorced you probably have a good idea of what you want.

You have to ask yourself what place you both are at in your lives. It could be hard to date an older man because he may have very different goals than you do. At 20, you're probably just starting to get into a career or going to college, but he's already been through that part of his life and is ready to move on to the next step. If you discuss and you see that his needs are compatible with yours, then I don't think there should be a problem.

Answer 6

Why can't you find a man your own age?  Looking for a sugar daddy to look after you?