Tell me your opinion please?

Question

Why is it that some people seem to be able to overcome infidelity in a marriage and move on with there spouse while others cant seem to stay together.In my case I have chosen to stay married and am generally happy that I did but even five years after my spouses affair I still think about it often,does it ever go away or is this it,will I always be thinking about that bad time in our lives,I was wondering if anyone else that is in this type of situation could give me some input,I would love to hear from everyone but would mostly like to hear from people who have some experience in situations like this

Answer 1

It means you have never truly forgiven your spouse for cheating on you.  True forgiveness means forgetting it as well until you do this it will just eat away at you.  When anyone loses another's trust in the relationship it is only the person who has had the wrong done to them that can regain the trust and move on.  Once you fully forgive and forget is when the true healing can happen.

In many ways alot of people believe once a person is able to cheat they will cheat again that is why it usually ends the marriage.  How can someone truly forgive and forget if they have a feeling the person is capable of cheating again.

God Bless and Best Wishes.

Answer 2

Don't you think 3 years is long enough for a test?  I've done my best and I do understand. Now you must. The  decisions are done . She said I will never leave you.Do you believe her now?

Answer 3

I was in your shoes twice but I divorced both times, I cannot accept liars and never will, I weighed up both times what I had put into those relationships, which was trust,honesty,respect and fidelity, against what I received in return, worth it? I got on with my life and have been rewarded with a good life free from lies.

Answer 4

After dealing with couples over many years, i have to say it takes a very strong and special person to do what youre doing. Once the trust factor is broken, many decide to part ways. Those that have tried to stay say its one of the hardest things ever to do especially when the phone rings and hangs up in the middle of the night. The non cheating spouse plays this incident over and over to see if theyre the cause and the nightmare never seems to go away completely. They say you just have to learn to live with it and do the best you can in movng on past it. Very few do make it past a year of trying. So youre the exception more than the norm here and wish you all the luck

Answer 5

It will stay with you forever.  You should forgive, it is the christian thing to do, but not forget, because it was a hard lesson learned, she can't be trusted.

Answer 6

Honey, you answered your own question. People that choose to leave do because they still think about it, or know ahad of time that they will never truly get over it. I tried to stay with my ex, but i knew that every time he walked out the door i would always wonder if he was telling me the truth and i'd worry if h came home late. i just couldnt live like that.