Telling friends about autism in family?

Question

I have two siblings and both of them are autistic. This is a huge part of who I am but I've always had a difficult time telling people about it. All through high school my method had been not saying anything until my friends met them and it became painfully obvious. Not the best idea.

So now that I'm starting college and meeting all these new people I'd like to mention it sooner. But I just don't know how to bring it up, especially since when I do mention it people get really uncomfortable and awkward.

Does anyone from a similar family situation have any advice?

Answer 1

I don't think autism is that bad and if your friends cant accept your siblings and treat you weird for it then they aren't worth your time. I have a nephew with Autism and a nephew with downs and I love them both very much and I disown anyone who bags them. Your siblings need your support so that to me is more important than worrying about how you have to tell people. I find most people in society have a major misconception about what autism really is. Warn people when they come to your house so they don't get shocked but tell them not to worry because its not like your siblings are anything like the stupid portrayal in the movies and media.

Answer 2

I absolutely understand where you're coming from!  I have an older brother with Asperger and I too found it difficult in my high school (and college) years to discuss this with my friends and often left it until THEY brought it up after meeting him (you're right, not the best idea).  I too didn't do this because I was ashamed  but because I didn't have the skill/understanding of how to share this information appropriately (I'm shy and it's a subject close to the heart).  It can be awkward.  The subject DOES make some people uncomfortable.  And let's face it, there is no manual (that I know of) that tells you all the "how to's" to being the sibling of someone with special needs and how to handle the unique pressures as a child/teenager and do it gracefully!   In fact, it wasn't until I became a parent and my own child was diagnosed with classic autism (please don't let that scare you) that it became a little easier for me to bring up "autism" with my friends.  Not that it's any less awkward at times but I have certainly had a lot more practice doing it!  

I don't know that I have a whole lot of great advice but here's a few things I try to remember when meeting new people.

-Opportunities to discuss the subject usually present themselves eventually so don't feel pressured to bring this up immediately (but don't leave until after they meet your loved ones)

-You don't need to tell everyone (unless you want to), just the people you want to build good or long term friendships with.

-It's less awkward for others the more comfortable you are discussing the subject... I often give people a quick explanation of what autism is and I find the info usually helps remove some of the terror in their eyes :)

-You are proud to be related to your loved ones with autism... but you are more than "the sibling" and this does not make you who you are.  Let people know who YOU are first.

-Awkward moments are not always avoidable but they pass.

Hope this was helpful and Good luck!

Answer 3

I don't have anyone in my family that has autism but my younger sister has Down's Syndrome. For those of you that don't know what that is .. it is a form of mental retardation, mongoloidism.

  I love my sister tremendously and if my friends can't be nice to her, about her, or whatever. Then they aren't my friends.

  I am never ashamed of her!! She can't help how she is nor can I help her by hiding her from the world.

  You just might find out that there are friends with similar situations at home. You also might find friends out there who are just there to be your friend.. NO MATTER WHAT YOUR SIBLINGS ARE LIKE!!

   Stop being ashamed of your siblings and be proud to be their sibling. They look up to you. It is your job to protect them to a point. But it is also your job to be there for them and not neglect the fact that they are who they are and the way they are.

  Be happy you aren't like them with a sibling like you. I would rather you not be my sibling if I was them than to be ashamed of me.

  Soul search and figure out who is more important in your life... your potential friends or your precious siblings.

Answer 4

Do your best to shake that feeling of being ashamed of them out of your head.  I know that is hard, considering your parents would forbid you to talk about it.

But look for times when the subject comes up.  You will certainly meet people in college who are studying special education.  With them you can just bring it up.  

Once you get more comfortable, you will see other opportunities.