Termination of parental rights?

Question

I am a female in a commited long term same-s*x relationship. I have been in contact with a man who is willing to act as a donor. Not wanting to spend so much of our savings on artificial insemination, we have decided that this man and I will engage is sexual activity in the hopes of my getting pregnant. He has a clean bill of health and medical records that I have reviewed.

My question is this: he has 3 children and a happy family. He does not intend to be part of this childs life, we have talked about this, and it is the best for both of our situations. He is doing this as a service to me, he is a regular sperm donor. However this case is different since we are consensually comitting to a physical act.

What legal steps should be taken to assure that both of us are taken care of? We trust each other, but it is a general legal safety thing to protect yourself. Can a basic termination of parental rights form be signed, or is it more complicated?

Answer 1

Just a note to those of you who believe that if a woman does not list a father's name on the birth certificate that there is no man out there that has any legal right to the child:

Even if no father is listed, the biological father has ALL rights to the child and he can prove it with a paternity test.  So, please don't think you're "safe" by assuming he has no rights because he most certainly does.

Answer 2

you don't have to put his name on the birth certificate, so  many young girls do this now ... i don't see why it should be a problem for you ... or you can consult with a lawyer to have paperwork drawn up so he can severe rights immediately.

Answer 3

I can be very complicated. Many states won't even recognize such agreements as valid and treat them as any other child custody/support case. Often they will not allow termination of rights unless it is to make way for a legal adoption.

Although you trust each other now, things change and if you decided down the road to sue for child support he wouldn't have a leg to stand on. If he decides down the road that he wants involvement in the child's life he can sue for visitation etc. and may win if a judge decides it is in the child's best interest.

Basically the childs rights supersede yours or his and it can get ugly sometime later (happens all the time with married couples, non-married aren't immune to falling outs etc.)

Not saying it will, but it CAN.

Get a good family law attorney to go over everything with you, and see what the laws in your state have to say as well as precedent in cases that went to court, then make your decisions on whether to move forward.

Answer 4

I believe that if he is not on the birth certificate that he has no rights.  However, if a DNA test [later on down the road] was performed and he wanted rights he could get them.  While that is a route to take, legally, I don't believe it's the best in this situation.

There is something called "Voluntary Termination of Parental Rights."  It consists of being seen before a judge, total consent of said parent, and then it's up to the judge to make the call.  From what I've heard, judges are very reluctant to take away all rights from a parent.  There much be a 'good cause' or else you can be turned down.

I strongly suggest you get a lawyer or talk to a legal consultant.  If you do this make sure you really think about what you need to talk about because they charge BIG bucks per hour.  I'm not too sure how a lawyer would take it but hopefully he/she will be open minded.  In the long run doing this even with hiring a lawyer or speaking with a legal consultant would be cheaper then IVF.

I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help.  I do admire you for making sure this is done properly and that there will be no strings attached.  It is very, very, very important for all of your rights--yours, your partner's, your child's, and your 'sperm donor."  Best of Luck!!

Answer 5

Call an adoption attorney for advice.  They might even answer your question for free.  Not sure.

There is a legal process in my state that requires both parties to appear in court before a judge but it's only a formality if both parties agree to these terms.  I have first hand experience with this but my child was already born.  In your case you probably want something resolved before the child is conceived, right?  An adoption attorney should be able to advise you.

Answer 6

In most states, a birthfather can sign a Waiver, giving up his parental rights, in the second trimester on.  You may want to both consider this -- having him go ahead and sign his Waiver before the baby is born.  This can be done at an attorney's office.

This is how adoptions are done, if the birthfather is present, and willing.  It makes things a lot less complicated after delivery.

Good luck!

Answer 7

Contact a lawyer. Sometimes legal rights can be terminated while the baby is still in utero and sometimes the baby has to be born and it be 48 hours later. It depends on your state. The lawyer may even can answer questions if your partner wishes to adopt your child

Answer 8

Yes I think you should.. But you would need to get a legal advice and do it by lawyer. The on;y way you can do it.  I think.  You can ask the lawyer if you can do with out going to court and the guy right there to sign the papers saying he giving up his rights. You would have to get a lawyer to do that