Terrible trust issues now..

Question

I’m 16 and about 9 months ago (I was 15), at the start of year 11 (last year at school, have now left) a new teacher came to the school, he was young (23) hip, charming and had the ace-ist taste in music, films and programmes and yes (as you do) i had a crush on him. Well he started talking to me over the internet, making innuendos and such and basically saying he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I was very flattered. I told him loads of girls fancied him and he seemed to be very flattered. But said I was the only one for him and he's not interested in them. This all went on for about 3 months until i hurtfully found out that he had been texting and emailing someone else in my year (a girl) and saying the same thing to her and he did me. I felt used and hurt and still do think there was something wrong with me to make him wonder. On that same day the police were at the school so hearing from others, I thought the game was up. After school i was so upset, I broke down in terrible tears to my mum and told her everything that went on, she was so horrified she went to the school to complain (by this point i thought the whole thing had been uncovered and he had already left maybe with the police or not, i didn't care i was so upset).. Keeping in mind I’ve never had that kind of attention before and I’ve never had a boyfriend. It turned out he knew what was coming resigned and the police wasn't there for him at all, they were just THERE for some boys who went missing from school (later found) and then since the school found out through my mum they told the police and now that teacher is left on the s*x offenders list anyway so this has all happened and 9 months ago and I’m still feeling wrong about it. I don't trust anybody (even my mum) - but i think that’s because she told the school when i relied on her not too. I just can't trust anybody anymore, i think everyone has an alteria motive and i can't take it. I'm still feeling guilty since it takes two to tango and i spoke back to him too, and I’ve basically ruined his teaching career or life maybe.

Can you help me, i want to trust others but i just don't know how to?

Answer 1

You did absolutely nothing wrong. It was wrong for him to play that game which could have very well gone too far. Think of the young girls you SAVED by venting to your mother. If he said things like that to you and another girl you know d**n well he was saying it to more. The teenage years are confusing (lack of a better word) and if a young girl were to hear that stuff and did hang out with him based on the info you provided i can promise you it would have led to a rape case. Consider yourself lucky for your mother to care and even though you feel guilty you did the right thing!! I can understand your trust issues but that is honestly normal for a teenage girl especially after this. you will meet many people in your life and I personally think its better to keep your guard up than always down. eventually you will meet the right guy who helps you break that down but not now

Answer 2

FIRST of all why were you talking to him in the first place? Girl I am sorry but that is just low. I hate it when older men try to pick up younger girls. He only wanted one thing from you. You were better off telling your mom. Listen to me.You did the right thing by telling your mom. I mean who knows if he has done this before. So stay away from him I mean it . And on your trust issue, Girl its okay to trust a few people. But in order to do that. You need to believe in yourself again and have the courage to do this. So relax and face your fears. This will be easy for you....

Answer 3

My buddies call me a perv, but I just got topped by your teacher.

This is your lucky day.  That guy was only interested in the love nest and nothing else.

He is lucky you two did not bang or he would be in prison now.

You mom did right this time so let her off the hook.

Now go find some geek in school and date him.

One last thing, date at least 30 different boys before you get out of high school. The more you date, the better your self esteem, and you will quickly figure out how to avoid pervs, like your teacher!!!

Answer 4

done blame yourself for it

trust me im 15 now and when i was about 13 my first gf cheated on me with my cousin...

i have only trusted one other girl and shes my girlfriend right now....

dont blame yourself he was messed up oviously.....sorry to say but he was

best thing to do is to forget about it and move on