Terrible twos at the age of 16 months? What to do?

Question

My daughter is going through a terrible two stage at 16 months old. She is very smart for her age and understand everything that I tell her after one time but she has a terrible attitude here lately. These last two months she has been throwing the worst fits. And every time I tell her no She gets mad throws her arms up and goes and hits something or gives me a bad look and makes a screaming grunting sound like she is gonna hit me or something. I dont know what to do. Do u spank kids this young or what. I mean they are not going to sit still if you put them in time out. So what do u do. I cant take much more. She goes around hittin stuff when she is mad or throws the biggest fit when she dont get her way. She will not sit in a buggy at walmart without throwing a fit and screams and fights with me everytime I sit her in a highchair at a restaurant. Half the time she dont even cry tears when she is throwin a fit she just hollers. Im gettin so tired of this. What can I do.

Answer 1

Sorry, I cannot help you but I am writing because I am a Nanny and one of the 3 children I Nanny is exactly like your daughter in every respect. Up until now I have had the answers but I even use the "Nanny" strategies and they are totally useless with this one child. Because I am a Nanny I don't dare use physical discipline although if I were her parent, I think this would work better than anything I've tried. Time outs are like giving her Lollipops, I swear.  

Answer 2

Terrible Two's... fun aren't they?

There are some things you can do.

First, timeouts are possible.  Instead of making her sit on the floor, put her in her crib without any toys.  She will cry and scream, but it's important that she stays there until she is calmed down.  It's best not to think of it as a "time out" but more of a "calming-down time".

For the Walmart and restaurant problems, you need to go to these places without the intention of staying.  Tell her that you won't stay if she throws a tantrum.  The first few times you do this, she will test you.  It's important that you follow through.  Once she realizes that you are serious, the tantrums will stop.

Answer 3

Be consistent...steadfastly!  Do not back down.  Choose an appropriate reaction, which a LOT of the time is NO reaction, and STICK to it.  I understand she is smart and probably does comprehend a lot of what you say; but still she is 16 months old.  Begin teaching her consequences now.  

If you put her in time out, it only has to be for one minute.  If she starts to get up, sit her back down and tell her she will stay there until you say she can get up.  Continue to direct her to sit back down, as many times as it takes, for at least one full minute.  Do this EVERY time her behavior warrants it.  State clearly that this is "time out" - she will learn quickly what that means and in the near future all you will probably have to do is say those words to get her attention.  

I never believed in time out; then I learned for myself and my daughter that there is simply nothing else that works for us.  I am not necessarily opposed to spanking, it just doesn't work for us.  You have to give it a chance.  At least I did and I'm so glad as it is extremely effective.

If it is in a restaurant or other public place, I hate to say it but sometimes you just have to deal...use your discretion per the situation.  My daughter is going on 2 and decides at times to act out at, say, the grocery store - and I totally ignore her and continue my shopping.  Period.  It doesn't last.  Overreacting keeps it going and most times will escalate it.  

If there is a place you can go to talk with her / calm her down, great...but that isn't always an option and you have to cut your stay short.  Or, take her to the car, put her in her seat, shut the door and let her scream.  DON'T react.  

When she does not get what she wants by screaming or getting mad, time and time again, she'll realize it doesn't work.  It's a conditioning of sorts.  Good luck.

Answer 4

Time out is definitely the answer. Whenvever she acts up take her to the "time out place" kids should sit there for whatever there age is x one minute. if she gets up, dont talk to her, just walk her back to time out, it might take a little bit of time, but after a while she will get the idea, and sit still. You have to take control of the situation before she gets older, and worse.  

Answer 5

spanking= no no

Designate a naughty chair or time out chair. When her behavior is unacceptable sit her in this chair. When she trys to get up sit her back down. Don't say anything while she is trying to get up, just keep sitting her in the chair. When she realizes that you are not going to let her stand up she will start to scream hysterical. This means that she is accepting her punishment. After a minute (minute for each year of age), you can take her out of time out explain to her that you love her very much, but her behavior is unacceptable. Explain to her what the unacceptable behavior was specifically and briefly.  

Answer 6

Don't spank, that is definitely not the answer.  You can do timeout at this age, but you probably have to sit with the child to make sure they stay put.  Be firm and consistent with your rules.  Do not give in to the tantrums because that will teach her that tantrums can get her what she wants.