Terribly Depressed, GF broke with me 6 months ago, feeling lost, now what ?

Question

I am a man of 35, from UK. In early 2006 i met a colombian woman online ( through online dating) as my marriage with my wife ( a mexican woman!) had broken down and i was so disillusioned with my marriage, i decided to look for a new partner and this woman was really caring and loving. I went to see her in colombia and we were right for each other. She understood me etc whereas before my wife had always been difficult, cold and non affectionate and we were not right for each other. We had also been having a "distance" marriage as she hadnt come to the UK and i felt at my limit with her. At the same time, it was difficult because i had a young child with my wife ( both living away from me in mexico) and i was feeling guilty that our marriage was breaking ( with the young child) . My girlfriend understood the situation and was supportive. Anyway, i went to live in colombia on 3 ocassions but i found it difficult to settle there. In February 2008 i returned to the UK and i noticed my colombian girlfriend had started to change, she was saying i wasnt in contact enough and she kept saying i had to change thingss about myself. Then, we argued and she didnt contact me. When i contacted her again in March 2008 she said she was tired of me and my issues and she didnt want me ( after 2.5 years of relationship). I was devastated. I had invested alot of my feelings into her and i really love her. She said she didnt believe i loved her but really it felt like she was looking to blame many things on me. I then asked her if she had found someone else and she said " i like someone and he likes me, we are talking......im being cautious". She also told me she didnt want me anymore and went i asked if she loved me she would only say " trying not to". I fell to pieces because i realised she was trying something else ( and maybe with someone she met online ( given the fact she said they were "talking") but she wouldnt tell me anything about the other man). I felt a fool. She didnt seem interested to talk more and i havent heard from her again. For me she was the love of my life ( she used to tell me the same) and i am having massive problems coming to terms with it, even though 6 months have passed. Ive fallen into a big depession and feel totally lonely. My job is in trouble ( not because of this) and really i feel my life is over at 35 ! I struggle to get out of bed in the morning and i have no motivation. I cant stop thinking about her and not seeing beyond what we had together. Im convinced we would have been together forever and we are RIGHT FOR EACH OTHER. I have never felt at such a dead end in my life before.

Ridicuously, I am still married ( in law, nothing more) to my wife but i know that i have to get a divorce but im so emotionally exhausted. My wife wants to try again but she says that i must be all these things i know i cant be and i cant love her like i loved this other girl. She was the one for me. Ive been feeling terrible depressed and genuinely suicidal ( although no one who knows me would know i feel suicidal)

Answer 1

I really feel for you but it is very VERY important  that you clear away these suicidal thoughts you're having. Make this not an option as this not only destroys your life but the lives of other people.Do you really want your child to grow up without a father? No person and no job is worth committing suicide over. You have to start believing in yourself and that there is someone out there for you and to be more cautious about when you fall in love. Unfortunately long distance relationships are very hard to work at and sometimes two people can grow apart. I've been in one myself and would never recommend it to anyone. If you still think there is a chance with your wife, and you think she is a decent person, give it a try. You might think you were right for each other with this other woman, but sadly it is not the case as you would be together. Unfortunately sometimes the person we think who is right for us, sometimes isn't. Don't rely on others for your happiness, find it within yourself, love yourself, get yourself motivated. You can change the outcome of your life if only you tried being a little more positive.  Don't give up on yourself and don't give up on love.  

Answer 2

if you were your best friend what kinda advise wound you give yourself? have know all the aspects of your situation.

I think usually the answer is already there we just don't want to except it. But i think your child is the most important thing not your ex not you 'wife'. it must be your reason to not kill yourself.

Answer 3

You asked the same question yesterday and we all answered you !!!