Terribly depressed after G/F left me 6 months ago. What do i do now ?

Question

I am a man of 35, from UK. In early 2006 i met a colombian woman online ( through online dating). My marriage had broken down and this woman was really caring and loving. I went to see her and we were right for each other. She understood me etc whereas before my wife had always been difficult, cold and non affectionate and we were not right for each other. At the same time, it was difficult because i had a young child with my wife and i was feeling guilty that our marriage was breaking ( with the young child) and i wasnt living with my wife. My girlfriend understood the situation and was supportive. Anyway, i went to live in colombia on 3 ocassions but i found it difficult to settle there. In February 2008 i returned to the UK and i noticed my girlfriend had started to change, she was saying i wasnt in contact enough and she kept saying i had to change thingss abvout myself. Then, we argued and she didnt contact me. When i contacted her again in March 2008 she said she was tired of me and she didnt want me ( after 2.5 years of relationship). I was devastated. I had invested alot of my feelings into her and i really love her. She said she didnt believe i loved her but really it felt like she was looking to blame many things on me. I then asked her if she had found someone else and she said " i like someone and he likes me, we are talking......im being cautious". I fell to pieces because i realised she was trying something else ( and maybe with someone she met online). I felt a fool. She didnt seem interested to talk more and i havent heard from her again. For me she was the love of my life and i am having massive problems coming to terms with it, even though 6 months have passed. Ive fallen into a big depession and feel totally lonely. My job is in trouble ( not because of this) and really i feel my life is over at 35 ! I struggle to get out of bed in the morning and i have no motivation. I cant stop thinking about her and not seeing beyond what we had together. Im convinced we would have been together forever. I have never felt at such a dead end in my life before. I am still married ( in law, nothing more) but i know that i have to get a divorce but im so emotionally exhausted and stuck on my ex. She was the one for me. Ive been feeling terrible depressed and genuinely suicidal ( although no one who knows me would know i feel suicidal)

Answer 1

http://www.ehow.com/how_61_forget-about-...

http://www.articlealley.com/article_1798...

--good luck

Answer 2

Harsh truth........you are a UK man, she is a Colombian women.

She was probably looking for a meal ticket or a visa. You are still married and so not actually available to be the meal ticket or visa provider.

The point is you have two choices...work at the marriage, unless it really is beyond repair. Or go through the divorce process and grieve for the loss. What you can not do is try to rebuild a life before you have dealt with the crumbling one and the pain and grief that goes with it.

Also, if you are still stuck on your ex you will never forge a good relationship with someone else. I may suggest that clearly she was not the one for you, otherwise you would not be in this situation.

So, instead of clinging on, get brave and let go.

It might be the best thing you ever do for yourself.

Answer 3

Watch this..

http://www.youcanhealyourlifemovie.com/

Answer 4

I am in a similar situation... I have started reading books and forcing myself to move on. Not saying that it's easier but the more I read and keep going makes each day easier. You have to remember that you don't live your life FOR someone you live it WITH them. And when that person is gone you still have you. I feel your pain. But I have found a lot of Self Improvement books to read and they are really really helping. One of them is called, "He's just not that into you" I think a guy could read it also. It is very helpful. You have to understand that life does go on. I would begin church and lean to God. God always knows the plan he has in store for you. Just lean on God, read the bible, pray. It honestly helps. You have to have trust in God. I will be praying for you b/c I know exactly how you feel. Please pick yourself up and move on. There are plenty of other women out there that would LOVE to have you. You just have to go out and find them.  

Answer 5

You took too long, and it didn't work out. Forget her, and look for another. But THIS time don't dither about, keeping them hanging on. Time is a woman's greatest enemy.

And it may be wiser to look closer to home. Colombia???? You must have been nuts.