Thai etiquette. On Bus.

Question

I took a bus in the afternoon from one town to another. There was a well dressed middle aged woman sitting in the front seat behind the bus driver. It was the only seat so I sat down next to her. She spoke to the ticket taker and I was asked to move because (the ticket taker said) she (the middle aged woman) had a friend getting on the bus. Well I rode standing up to my stop while the seat remained empty.

I saw some ladies getting off the bus and they stopped and wai'd this woman before stepping off.

Another day I was on the exact same bus and this same lady was sitting alone in the same seat. There were seats available and the seat next to her remained empty. So what's the deal?

Answer 1

Hi-so Thais (especially middle-aged women) can be uppity and condescending to their fellow Thais perceived to be of lower status. Social status in Thailand is respected far beyond Western norms  -- literally to the point of some hi-so people getting away with murder.

However, it is uncommon for someone to be rude in public like this to a Farang (foreigner) upcountry especially if you look anywhere close to presentable.

This is not a matter of comfort, I think -- it's just that the woman in question obviously felt justified in asserting her status over you. Did you ask for the seat to begin with?

I have once seen a scruffy looking smelly backpacker plopping herself in a seat next to a Thai without asking and resting her feet on the wall in front above the head level for all to see. In this particular case, the Thai was probably disgusted, but did not do anything -- however if he was high enough status he might have...

Of course, I have no idea what happened in your situation.

What is your own take on this?

Answer 2

She was the bus driver's wife.

How about this.  I would have either told the bus driver:

1.  Mai pood pasa Thai and continued to sit in the seat with a big Thai smile.

2.  I would have said I will get up when your friend arrived.

3.  I would have said first come first served.

But I don't play the race card here.

Answer 3

Yes - I think you should have told her that you could see she was quite high class and she should not be on the bus in the first place and you should have offered to pay for a car to drive her where she was going - - then - she would have recognized you as also being of high class and offered you the seat..  

Answer 4

The "friend" was a spirit and she was leaving the seat open for it.

Answer 5

Wow- I thought "high class Thais" only rode in black Mercedes Benz sedans... some actually ride the bus you say?  Incredible.

Answer 6

The lady has high status relative to her fellow passengers.  The clues are:

a) well dressed

b) front seat

c) other passengers initiate the wai to her on the way out

d) she asks the driver to deal with you instead of doing it herself

e) the driver fed you a made up line about a friend getting on the bus

Answer 7

American Men Etiquette on the bus:

Remember that greyhound bus, you used to catch when you were a broke college student. Unfortunately, I caught the greyhound buses a few times in college. Here are some experiences:

This American white boy with cowboy hat was trying to sit next to me (even though--there are a few empty seats). He tried to smile and talked to me. His breath was so stink. I was pretend to listen to my Ipod. Sadly, my ipod's battery gone bad. This guy continue to talk to me again. His breath was so stink. I thought I was going to die in the bus. I smiled to him and said, Oops Sir, there is an empty seat here. He got the message and moved. Thanks god!

Another story,

Again this man was sitting next to me. I was trying to touch my body. At first, I thought it was an accident. I just ignored him. Then, he kept touching my left leg and thigh. I politely said, Excuse me! He smiled. He stoped. A few minutes later, he touched my thigh again. I shouted to him, EXCUSE ME! People looked at us. I was so mad, but did not told anybody. Then, the pervert man told me, "wow you are a good girl" I was so angry with him. I was thinking, you better leave me alone before I asked the bus driver to throw you out.

Answer 8

she probably (okay, I'm not going to lie here).... she DID do it because she didn't want what she considers a "low-life" or "lower-class" person to sit next to her.... that's just what aristocratic a******s do, they get "annoyed"  by ordinary people or minorities and feel like they "deserve" better. And they do that because they KNOW they're well dressed and other people can see that so they are respected, but first of all, she is not spiritual because business people know better than to look dumb in front of atheists, her excuse was just one of those bitter (that are supposed to be nice) ways of saying no. what i recommend you do is report it to the bus company, because such things should not happen because DISCRIMINATION is not allowed these days in public services and the driver, who is working for the company should NOT allow it. Hope this helps.  

Answer 9

She's an a*****e.  And it's B.S. for the bus driver to allow that.  For spiritual reasons or not, she's in America.  And Americans pay to sit down on the bus.

Answer 10

My guess is:

1. The middle aged woman as you described might be a school principle, or anything of the sort that is well respected within the community. (i.e. low pay, but high status; hence riding on a bus but people respect her)!

2. She might want the seat all by herself because her personal seating is quite large!

3. I don't know whether you took the bath that morning or not (i.e. have no idea why she chased you to other seat) but that's not a Thai custom.

4. I was on a Singapore airline enroute to Singapore and on taking off, this beautiful Singaporean airline stewardess sat right next to my seat, put on the seat belt and look very serious. I initiated the conversation and she looked at me like: "Why are you talking to me?" I felt like it was an airline's rule that passengers are not allow to talk to beautiful stewardess when the plane is about to get off, or if you don't want any drink or food, so I kept quiet. Then, she smiled!

P.S. My father used to own private city bus company in Bangkok (not song teaw) and in Bangkok, you can sit anywhere you like, but not on driver's lap.