Thank you for your earlier reviews, here is another poem....?

Question

‘At The School of Art’

Come to the city newly, bidding goodbye

To the inherent fields; house and barn

Eager to chance his fate at Music or Art

… I am talking of a fine young man

To read the classifieds, he would go to the library

Or would listen to the radio, until one day

Of a school, he came to know by some source

‘In music’, who boast, ‘We offer a course’

In the office, up a multi-storey building

Eleven O’clock sharp, early next morning

At the reception of a fair young lady

Impatient, our young man was waiting

Soon after, into a furnished cabin, let in

Through the screen door, him, I could see

Next to a man, in a cushioned chair

He, who, ran the school, with long curly hair

Both men must have had a good talk

For both of them, intimately quite

Being lovers of the noble art

Shook hands, before did they part

Through the short and quick bargain

My curious eye didn’t miss

When they shook hands again

Notes, that changed hands, just long n’ crisp

Answer 1

Whoa, that's good!! Are you like a professional poet or what?!! You should try get you're poems published because they're really good and you have your own thing going on aswell which is  very cool!! Yeah, definitely keep writing - it could be your calling in life, haha!! You're like a modern version of Shakespeare or something! How do you write like that???

Answer 2

Good Keep it up !

Answer 3

i love this too, but i have some points, k? (**shy**)

perhaps you could cut some parts like the "reception of .." and next line-- it kind of drags.. i dunno for sure, it's just a thought.

also, am having a little problem with the person running the school, how important is he in the story?

please help me understand more?

thanks so much :)

Answer 4

Fine and keep it up. Improved version .