Thanks for all the great answers. Heres another question?

Question

I belong to a strict family. And, no girl in my family have ever been allowed to talk to her fiance or 'to be husband' before the actual marriage. Therefore, i am very much sure that my father will not let me talk to the guy and will not understand what i want. How should i go about this?

Answer 1

I know how you feel girl! I am a muslim and my family is the same way. In fact, I cant even talk to him untill he comes to the house with his parents and etc. I have fougt many times with my father about this. The only way to solve this is to be patient. Times have changed and i always remind my father about this. It's going to be hard but you have to stay strong. Plus, if the guy loves you enough he will wait. Thats what im going through, and inshallah next month we will be engaged. Good luck and salam

Answer 2

Let your father deal with the matter.

He should not approach you directly anyway. He should speak to your father first.

Answer 3

Get his email address! He's probably as nervous as you. Also, you can ask the imam to talk to your Dad because you are the one who is Islamically Correct in this argument. Since Islam gives you the free choice of marriage (and without your free consent the marriage isn't valid), you have to have enough knowledge about the fellow's personality to make an educated decision. Basically by meeting his family first, you will see what kind of family he comes from. But after that, you have to talk to him or write letters with him. Because even if he is a great guy he could still not be compatible with you.

Answer 4

I don't really understand the situation. Are you two engaged yet or what?

Answer 5

you know your situation better,,there is nothing any one can do..in here..talk to your mom,try to explain her.. what if they approve the boy you want to marry,,,then why cant you wait till marriage to talk to him .. :) have patience

Answer 6

i dont yet it??? u cant talk to yur parents. Cumon not only islam but the whole world  tells us that parents and children are supposed to have a gud relationship. so whom exactly do u speak to when u have problems????

Get yurself together and talk to yur 'family' its the best way out!!!

Answer 7

Sister yr parents have spend a lot time in this world then you and certainnly they are more Wise then u and me

so if they don't allow u then have sabur, instead spending time thinking or gaining knowledge that how you will run your life after u got married :) ( the Islamic way)

Sister, Parents have great status in Islam if u follow them in good things then InshaAllah u will prosper. :)

Answer 8

Listen to your parents for they are indeed wise.

Answer 9

If your 100% sure about wanting to marry this guy, then do it behind your fathers back. Don't let him set you back if it means your whole life and your future husband.

Answer 10

Why don't you explain to your father that this is an archaic and un-Islamic practice? In Islam, women are allowed to talk to their fiances. The prime example of this is the Prophet Muhammad (SAWW) and Khadija (RA). In Islam, women also have the right to refuse a proposal. Good luck!

Salam.

Answer 11

u need to explain it to him from the islamic perspective..coz islamically u are allowed to speak to him and get to know him as long as u have a mahram there...its not up to ur dad to choose who he likes..at the end of the day if ur gonna marry this brother its u whos gonna be living with him..this is ur life ur talking about..i suggest u do all ur islamic research regarding th whole marriage issue and sit down with ur father..present all ur information (authentic ofcourse) and then tell him about the brother who proposed to u..explain to him that u need to get to know him before anything happens..it is ur choice sister..ur family can only oppose if he is of bad character etc..if his deen is good thats all that really matters.

alternatively, if this brother has a sister then why dont u make friends with her and find out about him through her? or if u know a sister who has a brother that knows the brother that proposed to u..theres so many halal ways..shaytaan is trying to help u make excuses to talk to him..remember sis..there will always be a third person and that is indeed the shaytaan.

Answer 12

runaway..... you should be able to talk to them. thats odd.

Answer 13

Mohamed K took all the words i had to say. it is true just be patient. talk with ur mom and dad about this situation. see if they change there mind.

Answer 14

...and they say women are not oppressed in Islam.

I have a question; do you have any married brothers? Did your parents allow them talk to their fiancees?

Answer 15

well Sister, it is you life and your future, you have to talk to them,

if you can't.           make your mom to do it.

Answer 16

show your father this verse (2 Albaqara: 235) {There is no blame on you if ye make an indirect offer of betrothal or hold it in your hearts. Allah knows that ye cherish them in your hearts: but do not make a secret contract with them except that you speak to them in terms honourable, nor resolve on the tie of marriage till the term prescribed is fulfilled. And know that Allah knoweth what is in your hearts, and take heed of Him; and know that Allah is Oft Forgiving Most Forbearing. (235}

Quran says that it's ok that they talk , and to have privacey also , supervised privecey . or in a public place