The 11th hour? Should I fire my attorney the day before I go to court.?

Question

My attorney wants me to settle out of court?

Scenario: A protection order was filed against my ex-husband for domestic violence three months ago and his attorney has filed for a motion to set aside the final protection order.

She wants me to drop the protection order because he has a security clearance and is afraid that he may lose it and ask for $5000 and to relocate in lieu of a protection order and move out the house that I prevented from going into foreclosure possibly overnight. This means that my son and I would have to move out the house "immediately" with no place to go and he and ex-wife are planning to move back it.

I told my attorney there is no amount of money to make me drop that order because it would be like saying that I lied about the abuse. She told me that I was stupid and need to come up with a dollar amount to put on the table for his attorney.

What should I do? Should I give her a dollar amount and for what amount. She also that she can request a mutual restraining order but why. She said that she only has my best interest in mind and would prefer that I walk away with something from the marriage than nothing at all considering my son is not his child and we were only married for one year. She said it's no longer about the abuse, it's about the money. I'm confused because money can't bring me back if he does something to me or my child. She said we have a 50/50 chance in court because I called him during the protection order to discuss selling the house becasue they would not sell it without both our signatures. (This was before either of us had attornies). So it could be dismissed.

Answer 1

This is a difficult situation. Possibly your current attorney is with intelligence, or your ex-husband's attorney is. I'm sure she told you at the last minute too. Yeah, I know the drill. Well, you could ask her to withdraw her appearance in the case in court, citing an inability to work with her, and the judge should grant you a continuance. Regarding money spent, it will be difficult to get your investment back, but you may be able to get a portion of it. Don't hold your breath. Just plan on maybe getting some of your money back. Make sure your attorney withdraws his/her appearance with prejudice (or without prejudice ask her). Tell him/her that is what you want. You want the appearance withdrawn without you looking like the bad guy, because that prejudices the court, if they submit something like that. Then, with your next attorney, you'll have to roll with who you choose. I smell intelligence people all over this because your husband has a security clearance, but you'll never prove it. You just have to have experience with it and then you can smell it. Regarding these emails that you have been receiving, that's a violation of any protective order you may have, because that is contact by proxy. That's not allowed to happen. Your ex-husband cannot have anyone contact you on his behalf either directly or indirectly. Things can only go through an attorney. Good luck.

Answer 2

You, not your attorney, are the expert on what you and your child needs to be safe and move forward. If your instincts are telling you that a protective order is important, trust your gut.

Attorneys often look over abuse when handling divorce or any dispute between couples. Many believe that the money is the root of the issue.

Domestic violence is, at its core, about wanting control over another person. As a survivor it is an amazing feeling to have a judge believe you, even if no one else seems to. A protective order can also provide a legal (albeit paper) shield against verbal harassment, intimidation, or assault against you and your child, which is far more valuable than a home or cash.

Mutual restraining orders can often be more appealing to an attorney because they often require attorneys to file and attorneys to report to the court each time they are violated, giving the attorney more of your money. Protective orders were created in every state with domestic violence in mind, and do not require an attorney to file, represent you in the hearing, or report when it is violated.

Protective orders are also recognized anywhere in the United States and will be enforced outside of the jurisdiction where they were filed. A mutual restraining order may be more difficult to enforce if you leave the judge's jurisdiction.

I would strongly encourage you to contact the National Domestic Violence Helpline (1-800-799-SAFE) to find a domestic violence program in your area. They may be able to provide counseling, legal advocacy, and other assistance to help you get back on your feet (many programs offer services even if you do not go into a shelter).

If your husband is abusive, this is a larger case than 2 people who simply do not like each other anymore and want to get a divorce. This is about control, and you can use all the support you can get.

Trust your instincts!

Answer 3

Just don't sign anything. You might get an attorney to sue your present one later if she flubs your case. s***w the money. They don't plan on you getting any anyway. Your attorney knows that and she needs to get paid from whatever kind of deal she can make. It's not your problem that the guy needs to be restrained and I think a judge might see right through your lawyer's statements. Tell the judge the truth, everyone I knew saw right through BS.