The Ashes – a Christmas Carol
‘Twas the night before Christmas, where all in the house,
Not a being was stirring, not even Strauss;
The creatures were locked in, handled with care,
In the hope that Ricky Ponting would not be there;
The kids were tucked in, all snug in beds,
While dreaming of cover drives playing in their heads;
With Mitch on his side, and Huss in his cap,
Skipper Ricky had settled for a long Christmas nap,
When out on the pitch arose such a clatter,
Ricky launched from his bed to see what was the matter;
He ran to the window faster than a flash,
Tearing open the shutters, he threw down the sash
As the Tazzy squinted his eyes to check what had appeared,
It was Mr Hilditch with a barrel of beer,
He stood out there with another t*t;
“Open up you little twit”.
He screamed and yelled as the rest of ‘em came,
Whistling and shouting, he called them by name;
“Mitch! Now Huss, now http://www.senore.com/Cricket/Clarke-c51120 and Sid!
Lets walk and march and run on the pitch!
To the wall and porch, and back to the wall!
Lets drink away! Drink away! Drink away y’all!”
They drank as fast, even faster than they chew,
Chuckling and swearing at Mark Nicholas too.
When all of a sudden, Ricky heard on the roof
The prancing and pouncing of four little hoofs,
He furrowed his brows and turned around,
As he saw Mr Nicholas coming down with a hound.
He was dressed in drapes from head to foot,
The hair on his head had since gone caput;
A bundle of presents, hung from his back;
He looked like a jerk who had shaved his ‘tash.
He was thin and skinny like a little meddling elf;
Ricky chuckled when he came, in spite of himself;
A wink with the eye, a jerk with his head;
He let Ricky know, he had not a thing to dread;
He said not a word, going straight to work;
Tweeting abuses like an insolent jerk,
And then Hilditch came, punched him on the nose,
The others gathered around him, attempting to impose,
He ran to the car, as blood spurted out,
While the little hound yelped like a small English scout.
They heard him yell as he drove out of sight,
“Merry Christmas y’all, I’ll captain you twits out of spite.”
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