The Economics of the Ashes
I have never been an ardent fan of capitalism. For one, capitalism can be quite annoying and the fluorescent sign boards don’t help much as well. Secondly, everything has a price, according to certain economic principles even the
intangibles have a price to them. By intangible’s I mean the concept of negative externalities. What are negative externalities? A literal definition goes something like this, “Impacts on `outsiders` that are disadvantageous to them and for which they receive
no compensation for. The externalities are occurring where the actions of firms and individuals have an effect on people other than themselves.”
Of late however certain things about capitalism have started to catch my attention amongst others. That is the concept of compensation. With the advent of the IPL, it is more than evident that cricket these days is crumbling due
to the follies of the capitalist system which is based on the profit motive. If we were to believe the line of argument, that cricket these days is powered by the profit motive then it would not be unfair to state, that as the viewer watches a particular game
on TV or in the stadium itself - he is making an investment in a matter of speaking.
As a fan he would expect that his investment would reap some form of benefit. For the fan has made a trade off by choosing to watch the cricket match over a possible alternative of taking his dog for a run in the park, or choosing
to eat a sausage, or yelling at his wife or running errands for the neighbours for 10 bucks. However, the fan chooses to watch a game of cricket and that too the Ashes over all other possible options.
In a capitalist society this would mean that he has made an investment and a rational person would choose something that offers the highest possible utility. So when Mitchell Johnson bowls as badly as he bowled in the Gabba, the
capitalist watches before his eyes, the loss that he is incurring as he puts a value to all the intangibles that he could have indulged in, instead. The average fan gets angry, very angry in fact and ends up kicking his dog with every ball that bounces like
a scared kitty off to the boundary. Metronomic accuracy is applied in frustration as the kicks are well timed and placed to hit the dog just where it hurts the most which I will gladly leave to your own imagination. What would you want to do in such an unfavourable
scenario where you clearly are making less than normal profits? You would want a bone for your dog as compensation.
Of course the average fan does not want just any ordinary bone, but a rather special one. One that can be grafted out of one of Johnson’s legs, preferably the femur, for only that particular bone can satiate the angry, beaten-up
dog.
The average capitalist cricket fan demands compensation for the financial distress that has been caused to him by Mitchell. What are the possible options? If he were to take my advice, I would say it depends on the proximity from
the bowler himself. If he does find himself within 1000 yards of the bowler it would be more profitable to approach him, feigning for an autograph as an innocent spectator and just as he comes closer it would be advisable to give him a neck lock, helped by
your friends. After that it would be significant to mention that he can be taken outside the stadium and can be given a thorough thrashing. To improve the chances of making a profit, make sure that you are well clear of the police and officials. Of course
the thrashing in itself may or may not ensure reliable returns in the future, best to debilitate him instead.
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