The Jeremy Kyle Show?

Question

Not really a question but your chance to rant about the Jeremy Kyle show lol.

Here are topics

Jeremy Kyle

Security Guards

Music and Editings

Guests

Audience

Graham and aftercare

ETC

Answer 1

Graham reminds me of Mr Garrison from South Park.

Answer 2

There's a guy who was in my tutor group at school who's been on it four times.  His wife keeps accusing him of having an affair with her mother, he's only 24 and the mother is about 60.  

Everytime he comes on it everyone texts round going "Danny's on Jeremy Kyle again!"

Jeremy himself really pisses me off, the way he shouts at guests is totally unprofessional, also when he does things like withholding the answer to a paternity test when people are arguing, Trisha would never do that, neither would Maury or Jerry.

Answer 3

The man looks like a troll, is watched only by Chavs, and he gives me a rash, I swear how any one puts up with his trademark "LOOK AT ME" Is beyond, he sucks, Arch my blood boils with rage at the thought of his third rate job seekers advise . You shouldn't help people who have, slept with there mum/brother/best friends boyfriend/cat/father in law. You just leave them alone. I can't understand how the man hasn't been taken off, just because his face is so annoying, on this alone he should be forced to wear a big bag on his misshapen head! There I hope that was the sort of thing you meant . It was the best rant I had in me.

Actually no no I have more! The stand up be a man/ I'm sorry madam but it ain't happening, jerryisums, pee me off.

Also if somebody comes on and says "oh I struggled with anorexia." be assured some one in Jeremy's close family has had it as well, such as "oh I have drug problems" Jeremy would respond with "I respect you my mum/kid/wife/dad/brother struggled with that, so I know exactly how you feel .

GOD why should we be subjected to this mans verbal dioreah ? The man is a Cretan!!

Answer 4

Jeremy Kyle is a legend! He is funny as!  

Answer 5

DNA tests, drugs, exes...the list goes on.

Answer 6

That and Trisha, same subjects,same people (most of whom I wouldn't want to live next door to) same DNA tests,same lie detector results, great show though.

Answer 7

Not sure what you require us to say!

Answer 8

I seriously wish that show was banned from tv forever.  

Answer 9

Britain number one ******** wouldn't you just love to say it to his face  

Answer 10

I actually hate everything about this show, the man is a bully, there are ways of getting your point across without being so rude and hurtful, and then when people walk off of the stage due to what he says he follows them all nice and says talk to me sweet!!! Grrr!!!! My parents watch this and I get so mad, at the content, which is always the same and the guests are all the same and they just word the heading differently!

I HATE JK!!!! And the show. Thanks for posting this question, my rant is now over!  

Answer 11

Sometimes I love it, sometimes I hate it.  They just shout ALL the time and Jeremy blames EVERYONE for EVERYTHING

Answer 12

i found this, it sums up the show!!

Jeremy Kyle: On todays show, we meet girlfriends scared of their violent partners. Let's meet Donna. She's 17, and she says her family doesn't approve of the way she is being treated by her boyfriend, even though she says he's the father of her 4 month old baby. Donna, everybody!

Donna: Yeah but no but yeah but no but it's not Damions fault he headbutted me, it's just the baby might not be his and Mums a slag anyway so shut up!

JK: Welcome to the show, Donna...so you say he headbutted you while you were pregnant?

Donna: Yeah but I was shouting at him, so really, you can see where he was coming from...

JK: You love him even though he hits you? I'll have you know I'D never hit MY wife when she was pregnant with MY child and I'd move HEAVEN AND EARTH to kill anyone with my bare hands who touched MY WOMAN! Why are you with him?

Donna: Cos I love 'iiiim!

JK: Ok, well there are two sides to every story. Let's see what Donnas boyfriend has to say. Damion, everbody!

Audience: BOOOOOOO!

Damion: *walks in grabbing his crotch and sticking two fingers up at the audience* beep you all, you don't even beep know me, she's a beep who's beep all me mates and me brother and me brother said she was nothing compared to my last girlfriend cos she won't even take it in the bum so nurr!

JK: Hello Damion.

Damion: Alreet.

JK: So you er...headbutted her whilst she was preggers?

Damion: Yeah but I was acquitted cos the CCTV camera near maccy D's had a bird poo on it so they had no evidence, innit. So I never did it, did I? Spackers!

JK: But you did headbutt her?

Damion: Yeah but no but you don't understand! Cos my mate Daz says she's been shaggin' everyone and she even gave 'im a gobble in aldi's carpark in return for a swig of 'is White Lightening!

JK: Er...nice. Do you think you're the father to little Tarquin?

Donna: He is!

JK: *screams* I WASN'T ASKING YOU!

Damion: No, cos 'e won't even eat an 'appy meal so 'e can't be mine!

JK: ...wait, I thought he was 4 months old...?

Donna: Shurrup Damion, you know you're 'is Dad cos it's either you, Banksy or your brother, but it couldn't be either of them cos they did me up against a wall and everybody knows sperm can't swim upwards!

JK: *Yelling from the back of the audience* ONE MORE WORD OUT OF YOU AND YOU'LL BE DRAGGED OFF MY STAGE TO BE TEABAGGED BY MY SECURITY STAFF! I'M HARD, Y'KNOW! *Hides*

JK: ..........Ahem....Damion...do you love her?

Damion: Yeah, course. Duh.

JK: and if the baby is yours?

Damion: I'll bring it up to wear burberry and love Man U just like me, innit!

JK: ok, well let's see those DNA tests!

*opens envelope and looks grave*

JK: Donna, you said it was one of three guys. We took DNA samples from all three and matched them against little Tarquin. Are you ready for the results?

Donna: Yeah, I wanna show him he can trust me, innit? cos I love 'iiiim! *pulls chair closer to scowling Damion*

JK: The DNA results show that...Tarquin doesn't belong to any of the men tested.

*Audience erupts with abuse*

Damion: You fookin' slag! i'll fookin' 'ave yer!

Donna: It weren't my fault it was your Dad's!

JK: I'm sensing this is all because of drugs. Is it because of drugs? I bet it's drugs. Is it drugs? Am I right? It's drugs isn't it? Ah go on, it's drugs, isn't it! Is it drugs?  

Answer 13

Right OK. I'm the first to admit I do watch it but he just annoys me! So, I found this website & it's so true.

5 Annoying Things Jeremy Kyle Does

1. At the end of most of his sentences he shouts 'THATS A FACT' even when it doesnt make sense. Eg. 'You should get a job, THATS A FACT'!

2. He refers to the guests' children as It.

3. Casting all his guests into stereotypical roles two seconds after they've first set foot on the stage "So, are you the Voice Of Reason?"/"I can tell you're a bit of a Cheeky Chappie"/"You seem like a really nice bloke" and then persisting in sticking to those first impressions even if faced with irrefutable evidence to the contrary.

4. Grabbing every opportunity to tell stories which he believes show him in a good light "I used to drive all night to see my kids without any sleep" without ever stopping to think that he actually comes out of it rather badly...what about all the other motorists on the road whose lives were endangered by his sleep-deprived driving?

5.Constantly telling wife-batterers how "brave" they are for "coming on the show and putting their hands in the air"

If you think about it he does all these :@   But yet....I still watch

Answer 14

Ah, Jeremy Kyle, source of the greatest drinking game of all time.

Every time an answer begins with, "I'm a father of two kids, and I'm..." - have a shot! Double shots if he's sitting down on the floor when he says it.

Answer 15

Jerry Springer & Steve Wilkos is way better!

Jeremy is okay lol sometimes these shows crack me up

HaHaHa! Horsey Horsey's right though its for chavs!

x

Answer 16

Haha Jeremy Kyle Hes ace as lol i was watching that before actually lmfao soo funny when he shouts

Answer 17

'i am jeremy,i am god you are scum and i wouldnt have anything to do with you if you were the last person on earth,the dna test,oh mrs..YOU WERE LYING WERN'T YOU....GET OFF MY STAGE'...

he's nuts and i cringe everytime i watch!

even graham looks embrassed,and must be sick of all the disfuntionals passed his way.

Answer 18

2 words can sum this idiot up...

Shite & Shite!!

Answer 19

I used to like Jeremy Kyle but now I just think he stirs things up between guests and he's always going on about his family and children and how wonderful they all are!!! And how come they never show the fights it's so annoying!! When there's a good fight happening they just cut to the audience not like on Trisha where you can see a little bit of the fights! And how much does that man move his mouth when he talks and when he gives the phone number he pauses between the numbers!! And every day the show is the same! Phew.. I feel better now thanks for letting me do that!!

Answer 20

its only for filthy, lazy, CHAVS!!!!

Answer 21

ive heard off the grapevine that most of it is all acting, that's why you don't really see many good fights, i mean, if all this really happened and you got 2 big guys on the stage, you really think that those 2 security guys would stop them?? they would also be in with the fight!

its like wrestling, its all put on to make it look good...... ever thought of that

they must use some kind of acting school because when my wife watches it (yes sad person) ive noticed that it only seems to consist of birmingham folks, scottish folks and a few from london.

what about the rest of the country???

got to be fake!.