The Loss of a Child?

Question

I recently lost my 10 year old niece to Brain Cancer 3 weeks ago & I just need help coping. I took custody of Her & Her Twin sister about 5 months ago when my sister Passed away. Its breaking my heart seeing my other niece like this, she seems really disconnected & not like herself & she hardly isn't eating anything! We were all really close & I really need some help with cooping & helping my neice cope. I'm only 20 so I haven't really been a parent for a long time. Please guys I really need some help here,I'm afraid one of is gonna break soon.

Answer 1

The hospital her sister was working with should have some type of loss/grieving thereapy available.  Alot of times it's in a group setting where she can be around other people who have had a loss and are her age.  At the very least someone at the hospital should have resources they can make you aware of for counseling.  I agree- your whole family needs it.  It's nothing to be ashamed of- we all need help sometimes.

Answer 2

i have lost loved ones in my life and i will tell you that it is one of the worst things that can ever happen to you. these periods of time are definitely toughest in the anyone's life. my only advice to you is turn to someone. whether it is God, other family, friends, grief counselors, anyone that can help you through this time of need in your life. maybe take a vacation out in the woods or some other open area so you can have time to reflect and retrospective. maybe it will give you time to heal enough to move on even though the loss of a loved is something that you will never fully heal from. i am truly sorry for your loss and i an here for you when you need me. take some time off for you and your niece

DE

Answer 3

I know it will be hard for you, but talking does help.  Try talking to her and ask her how she feel about it all and let her know that its ok to hurt, and that you are hurt too, but you two can work together to feel better.  let her know that she doesn't have to forget about them, and that you will be there for her when ever she needs you.  

(what my mom did when my grandma passed away, was tell her self every day that tomorrow she could worry about it, and eventually things became easier for her)

I hope this helps and I am very sorry for you lose.  things will eventually get better, just be strong.  Take Care!!!

Answer 4

get both of you some counseling, NOW

Answer 5

Find out if there is a Hospice organization in your area. They should be able to help you find counseling, not just for your niece but for yourself as well. You can also check with the hospital social worker. I'm surprised you haven't already been offered this help. Do not try and do this alone. There are people out there to help.

Answer 6

I'm so sorry to hear of this. The loss of a child is tragic, but there is life after death, and all is not lost. Take comfort in knowing that she has gone on to a better place, and celebrate her life in knowing what a joy she was for your family. Know that you are in my prayers.

Answer 7

Just talking to her would probably really help her out.  i would also tell her to write her feelings down in a journal or diary.  Sometimes writing things down can really help alot.  If you and her are in the mood, I would try to take her out and do creative things with her to try and take her mind off the situation.

Answer 8

I will go ahead and say that I have not gone through many losses at this stage in my life, so I am relatively inexperienced in this subject. But it's been my experience through dealing with people who have suffered through such adversity that it's best to give them a shoulder to lean on (sometimes even cry on), someone to talk to and share memories about the person who has passed away. If you think that a very serious depression is setting in, you might need to take your other niece into counseling.

I'm very, VERY sorry for your loss and hope that you and your loved ones can make it through this very difficult time. I only wish I could be more help.

Answer 9

go to therapy help. then i guess some counsling. talk to her

Answer 10

It is important to abandon all love and memories and forget that she ever existed. The truth is so dark, pointless, and hopeless that it is a shame that any of us exist to know it.

The only thing you can do is delude the remaining girl into thinking that her sister may live on and is not rotting in the ground like leftover meat. Or you can delude her into thinking that memories are real. The truth is ugly. This must sound nasty and insensitive. Sorry, but life IS nasty and insensitive as you already know.

Answer 11

Sorry to hear that, losing another close family member is just harsh.  I think,  if you can, get her a mother figure some time down the road. Now that may be harder than it sounds, but your only 20 so it can work. And I think you need to get her some counsiling just to help her out get through this. Might not be a bad idea for you too.Good luck in the future LL, and sorry for your loss.