My heart pumps rapidly and repeatedly hoping
To do my duty, or rather, my countrys' duty of
Travelling far to everlasting glory for the ultimate
Price of freedom at the cost of my life and the cost
Of unequaled sufferings of my family I will leave
Behind. No matter. The money will provide ease
To their sufferings, and I will not care anyway, for
Being dead is like never to have been born.
For I am man. I live for nothing except to fight my
Fellow man in truth or lies. Whatever the case,
It is worth it to see the battle pitting your life against
My enemies. My last thoughts will not be of my
Dear family and siblings. My last thoughts will be
"I hope we win."
Of all the creatures that walked the earth over millions
Of years, we are the cruelest, most destructive, and heartless
Souls ready to wreak havoc on anyone, anyone, anything.
My sinister grin will confirm the fact the these women and
Children deserved what they got, because I know for a fact they
were behind this last roadside bomb. So now it's time for an airstrike to kill them so that I may conserve my ammunition. It sure is fun.
Then I thought of life after the war. What will I do? I have no education, I have no skills, and what destiny will arrive to set me straight, or tear me apart. As wisdom comes with age, I worry to believe that I will regret my instincts honed by those killers before me.
Now I'm scared. Now I am worrying. It is not yet finished, and this cursed guilt is building. For I know when I leave, I will be a nobody. This guilt will take over my soul. It is too late to ask the dead for forgiveness. I will turn to God. That will help. I will turn to medicine, that will help. No, it won't help. Nothing will. What is done is done. What is etched in my mind will remain, forever. With age it will only get worse until I choose the implements of battle on myself.
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