The Perks of Being Over 50 as i am now 57 thought today would poke a laugh at my age?

Question

Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

You sing along with elevator music.

Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"

People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

Things you buy now won't wear out.

You can live without s*x but not without glasses.

You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.

You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.

There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

Your eyes won't get much worse.

Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

Answer 1

Ha! ha! very good, I havn`t got there yet but my wife turned 50 in June.......

Answer 2

I was gonna say that truth is both stranger & funnier than fiction!

But let's rewind justa tad >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

(What d'ya mean that's FF?)

OK .. OK ..

regular readers know I've been ravin' for months @ my many trips to different towns, etc, since I got my free travel pass @ da BIG 6-0

I used to dread turnin' 60 - as I'm sure younger readers still do

Now 4 dat slight rewind - to when I sang in 3,500+ NW-UK karaokes, '89/'03 - mostly in Rhyl, Prestatyn, Towyn, Colwyn, Chester, Liverpool, Birkenhead & Southport

I'd often pick songs with long instrumentals, so I could chat to da crowd & I many times launched into a routine @ how scary to be a little kid in the mid-50s Teddy Boy Gang Wars, when teens carried axes, as well as knives & chains

& how I had more fun nights out in my 40s than in my teens, 20s & 30s put together >>

& how it's got better & better thru my 50s >>

& I'm just gettin to my peak .. so let's see y'all audition !!

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...

Answer 3

Let's carry on, folks ! ! It's getting better all the time ! !

Answer 4

I remember on my 57Th birthday I told a friend that I had reached middle age.

"Really?" he said "So how many people do you know who are 114!"

Happy birthday.

Answer 5

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Answer 6

Very amusing. How about:  You are a fountain of knowledge as to where all the public toilets are situated in your town.

Answer 7

Excellent, being an over 50 I agree with everything you say.

Answer 8

Ha ha ha.!!!

The way we all go, 31st July is mine mate.!!!

10/10.!!!

Cheers still smiling here Chris.!!

Answer 9

lol dats ma dad rite der

Answer 10

I will be 50 next birthday and all I've got to say after reading what you've wrote is bring it on!

Happy birthday mate!

Answer 11

Thanks for that....I'm over 50 I still have a sense of houmor..