The Science of Random?

Question

alright. people in the jokes and riddles area typically aren't very creative. let's see if any science wizzes are. 10 points to the most random person. rules:

1. It must be random.

2. It must be humorous.

3. Length does not matter.

4. I'm not interested in jokes.

5. It must be completely original. Your own work.

Good luck. and thanks for all the fish.

Answer 1

Have you noticed all the coffee breaks that Y!Answers has been taking? It's like they have nothing better to do than drink coffee. Sometimes I don't think they're even drinking coffee. I think they're peeing from all the coffee they drank at their last break but they put up the "We're taking a coffee break" sign just so we think that they are doing something non disgusting when in reality they're in the potty peeing together  talking about their next coffee break and deciding if they'll drink Foldgers  or Maxwell. It's just not right.

-EE

Answer 2

There once was a plea for randomness

To elicit our stream of consciousness

We attempted to be funny

perhaps even punny

The snicker-doodle recipe is in the yellow box on the bottom shelf of the microwave cart behind the waffle iron.

Answer 3

OH my goodness have you seen that simpsons episode where homer's house is on fire and he throws his mattress out the window then he jumps out but then BOING bounces back through the living room window ahahaaa *laughs histerically*

Have a nice Christmas =)

Answer 4

There once was a pig. He turned into a squid. He then wondered why Pig did not rhyme with Squid. He blew up. His ashes floated to the ground, and flowers sprung up. Then the flowers went all esplody. The voices are back...They tell me to kill you.

My screen saver says "This is Sparta!" Do not check your e-mail, for it holds the secret to life (56). It also holds a pink and purple and blue and black and pinkish purple but without blue starfish with green polka dots. Ever wonder why they're called polka dots? They have nothing to do with Polka. The voices are back again. Back to the geese.  Why don't we just call them dots instead of polka dots? There are only three species of animals on Planet Earth that have s*x for pleasure; humans, chimpanzees, and dolphins (this is true). Always remember to keep Korean knives out of your children. They might like it.

There are exactly one hundred seventy four words in this message by the way...

now there are one hundred eighty...one

plus two

Answer 5

42

8l75,jyrt'=

|

7ku65r}|+\/

Answer 6

But after being deprived of electromagnetic radiation for another 8 hours he once again began to feel like the famed cat. Das Unsicherheitsprinzip.  As if a drunkard chum and the leader of the free world could coexist peacefully in a state of uncertainty.  As his side of the earth turned back toward our sun in Newtonian periodicity, the president climbed out of bed one more time to face the nation. Watching his last ratings asymptotically approach zero, there was at least one left in the country who still approved, a Scottish terrier named Barney.  Though disbelieving evolution, he felt that Canis lupus familiaris seemed providentially adapted to love unconditionally.