The Story of Lucifer - in poetic form.?

Question

The following is a poem written in response to a suggestion by Todd. I am not religious - so I do not wish to indulge in a theological discussion. It is just a story to me.

With Memory of the Old Revolt From Awe

(A line from Lucifer in Starlight - George Meredith 1883)

Lucifer

Exalted amongst the angels

Victorious in battles fought

Chosen by God for his beauty

His wisdom and untainted thoughts.

Showered with precious jewels

Given precedence over all

But Lucifer wasn't satisfied

So God engineered his fall.

Into the dust he ground him,

Took away his pristine soul,

Left him with a lust for blood

With revenge his ultimate goal.

He transformed into the Devil,

Who thereafter went abroad

Skulking in the dismal streets

To wreak vengence on the Lord.

......A sad day then the memory

Of the old revolt from Awe

By one who tried to usurp God

And challenge his Holy Law.

Answer 1

Well, you know I like it.

The most provocative lines for me that make this piece really interesting:

But Lucifer wasn't satisfied

So God engineered his fall.

I will have to try one of these this week--though mine probably will not rhyme (which seems important in this thread).

Answer 2

I was hoping this would rhyme....i lost interest in it to bother finishing it sorry.

Answer 3

Very good take on The Angel Formerly Known As Lucifer.

Answer 4

i liked it try publishing it

Answer 5

The luster of polished poetry hypnotizes.

Answer 6

This seems to be commentary on many peoples reaction to the self-righteous rule that has been self-proclaimed over us... speaking as this is a story and not a theological debate (which I hate, debating) it can be applied to many rebel souls... in some strange way poets have this soul... those in authority both in government and other realms (least of which not being the "church") we are Lucifer here... when we are not satisfied with the explanation given those in power orchestrate our own demise in society... this is not the only thing that can be taken from this poem... many things can be gleaned. That is one of the signs of a good poet OR story... I enjoyed this. Some would say that you are brave in writing about this subject but I say people should not be so afraid...

You will almost always have my attention with a story on the fall of Lucifer... I almost collect the different takes people put on it in my head... Thank you for sharing this I found it most enjoyable....

Blessed Be in a Healthy Lucifarian Fascination, Siren

Edit; This poem actually imnspired one from me today... Lucifer is on the brain it seems...

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 7

What idiot said this didn't rhyme? As usual, flawless form and provacative message, Grannyjill. Lucifer happens to be one of my favorite subjects for thought, but as I am religious, I don't enjoy the controversy that comes from exploring those thoughts with others I know.

Lucifer means "bringer of light", which I'm sure you knew, so I laugh whenever very dark people call themselves Lucifer. He was also the leader of the heavenly choir and considered the most beautiful, as you wrote. You're amazing.

Isaiah 14:13(speaking of dear Lucifer) - You said in your heart, "I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly, on the utmost heights of the sacred mountain.

You captured it beautifully.

Answer 8

Novel retelling and artfully crafted.    Well done.

How is it that one cannot tell that it does in fact rhyme?

Answer 9

Between the bugs and the Devil, we are having a hellish day. This is elegant and professional.

Answer 10

I enjoyed this rhyming poem immensely.  For me, it depicted the stereotypical image conjured up of Lucifer in folklore, and more recently film genre.The age old battle of good versus evil, and the ultimate triumph of good!  Also, the lesson learned to be satisfied with what we are blessed with as the mighty fall, so it is said. More please.....

Answer 11

It flows very well, my compliments.  The only line I had trouble with in the first read was: "He transformed into the Devil", "the Devil" seemed choppy, but ok.  Maybe just me.  The story is one that is well known.