NO! Mark my Tale of Awe and Terror!
"Wheeeeeeeeee!" I sat up bolt upright, the noise alarmed my slumber-some form to full wakefulness and alertness. The Dear Wife clutching the sheets eyes as big as Saucers.
"Wheeeeeeee. . . whooooo!" There it was again. Diabolical this noise and fearsome too, like Fatima Whitbread in a pretty Frock. Calming down my trembling Lady of the House, I deftly slipped into my Japanese Assassin Outfit and with Ninja-like precision and stealth, stole across the root tops of my expansive Mansion type House, and gazed in beguiled wonderment at the source of the terrible wassailings.
There, in the central section of my Garden stood The dreaded Mars Bar Sprite in all his Chocalately splendor. Screeching an Un-Earthly song of Be-Devilment to a mesmerized posse of enraptured Woodland Critters, whom were all in feverish adulation of this frightful little b*****d. His was surely an intimidating sight, I can assure thee, dressed in a little Wizard's Outfit, the creatures Hallooing and prancing to the rhythms of the Be-Fouled screeching and song.
Suffice to say I shot the little F**ker with me concealed wrist bound Crossbow. Like Wes from Mad Max 2.
Naturally I went to bed, but slipped out one too many Trumps as it were and was dutifully kicked out of bed and made to sleep on the Chesterfield Sofa. Slightly embarrassing I may add as my wife forgot I was this recumbent sleeping mass on the said sofa, and alas. . her Weekly sojourn with her fellow Lady Friends discussing Community Events was somewhat marred and sullied by the sight of me sprawling out of the blankets with a fearsome sight of dangly Plums for all to see. Baggy PJ bottoms see.
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