The best way to handle a unforgiving Son?

Question

recently my daughter whom my oldest son hates witha passion has decided to move to colorado to be closer to me. when my oldest son found out he told me I would never see he again and that I was ungrateful when I have given him everything including free rent when he stayed with me. He told me I made the wrong choice therefore I will pay the price of never seeing him again he will be 30 years old next month. how should I handle this.

Answer 1

He's got a lot of issues, and believe it or not they probably have little to do with you or your daughter.  He needs some counseling to get over his anger.  To expect you to shun your daughter because he doesn't like her is unrealistic and cruel.  Just tell him "I realize you're upset that she'll be living near me, but this is her decision and she is my daughter.  To expect me to not want her near me is not right.  If you have issues with your sister, you need to work them out with her.  I am very grateful for the times you've helped me out.  But you are both my children and I love you both equally."

Answer 2

let him go. in a couple weeks he's gonna come begging to live with you again. you babied him too much.  

Answer 3

Sounds to me like you have raised a monster. Sorry lady but this young man sounds childish and selfish to me. I don't know what your daughter did to deserve his hatred but you are under no obligation to abide by his rules. Tell him to grow up. he does not have the monopoly on your attention. He is acting like a 3 year old. Just because you see your daughter does not mean he has to visit with her as well.

He sounds like a control freak and I think it is high time you cut the apron strings and put him in his place.

Answer 4

I know this must be hurtful but at the same time she is your child too. It sounds as though he is jealous and needs to act his age. Not putting your son down but it sounds as though it maybe the best thing for him if he does leave the nest. If he is on his own for awhile then maybe he will see how hard it is out in the real world and have more appreciation for his family. He needs to understand that you love them both and need her in your life also. It is unhealthy for the whole family to hold this bitterness for each other.  

Answer 5

Wow, talk about emotional blackmail!  You must be devastated--I certainly would be if one of my children pulled something like that.

I'd say there's not much you can do if he is going to be like that.  Let him go.

Answer 6

my brother used to be the same way  with my mom i would just let him know you love him but tell him you think you made the right decison and hopefully he will get over it and stop being so mean to you

Answer 7

Just ignore it... children should never make a mother chose between them. If your daughter isn't making you chose, then it's actually your son that has made the choice for you by withdrawing.

More than likely he will come around in time. Just always be open to him.