The birthday etiquette. Is my family just incredibly self consumed?

Question

Crazy birthday stuff. I am sitting here thinking Wow.. I hit 41 today.

I am looking at the 3 cards I got.... one from my spouse, one from HIS parents, and one from HIS brother....

I am the younges of 4 girls....as I have gotten older less and less communicaiton has happened to the point that even a recoginition of my wedding or my 40th didn't warrant a call or even card.. Yes.. that is right, even my wedding. One sister told me that the eldest said"whats the big deal.. it's her second wedding". I had a real wedding with a white dress and reception..Last time I checked that ws a real wedding.

I have talked to them about the ignoring of such..it continues. I have also stopped the cards, calls and gifts for birthdays and whatnot... I did always send them with no reponse or reciprocation back.

Are some families like this?

Answer 1

Yes, dear.  My brother doesn't even acknowledge my birthday.  My mother does send me some sort of flower arrangement but no party or nothing that requires her to spend any time with me.  

Don't expect your family to change they probably won't.  You can choose to not get upset or hurt by their insensitivity.  In my case I don't contact my family........it hurts but we were never close and all they do is hurt me.  It's better to stay as far away from them as I can. It's sad but sometimes families are this way.  Once you know it you can get over it.  They probably will never change.

Answer 2

Yes, some families are like this. There is nothing you can do to change them. Sounds like you have a better relationship with your husbands family, so don't feel too bad. And Happy Birthday!

Answer 3

To me a wedding anniversary is between a husband and wife--heck, I have trouble remembering my own much less my sister or brothers.  As far as birthdays, the older you get the less you should expect rememberances from your family.  If they are big into that then great, if not, then just celebrate it among your immediate family--husband, kids, etc.  I feel like birthdays are for the kids anyway.  I'm just glad to be alive each year.

Answer 4

Yeah some are.  Get over it or be bitter about it, but they aren't going to change.

Answer 5

Yes, unfortunately, some families are like that, and there probably isn't much you can do to change that.  I think that you either need to accept it and move on, so that it doesn't affect you personally, or you need to totally "let it all out" with them, so that you get closure on the situation.  It may not change who they are, but at least you will have resolved the issue with yourself.

I would maybe give it one more year:  send cards to them on their special days, and tell yourself, "this is the last time; if I get no response/acknowledgement, there will be no more communication".  

Enjoy the cards you do get, and forget about the ones you don't.

Answer 6

Stop stressing about what you cannot chang. Have yourself a Happy Birthday.