The case of "he's just not that into you"?

Question

a man who lets you or is waiting for you to "catch" him is definitely not interested or anything like that, right? it's all taking you for granted. i know it's silly to be asking this 'cause it's obvious but i'm in the process of learning :) what's been going on here is he's been giving me subtle hints for two years, but no real action on his part. so, i should read that book, correct? :) thanx

Answer 1

even though I don't like that "he's just not that into you statement" that statement just gags me, because then why is he bothering at all, know what I mean.

yeah move on.

Answer 2

Yes.

It's good that you are learning; just don't forget what you've learned.

Good luck and god bless.

Answer 3

yes. He is not into you. he is booked and not hook into you. just read between the lines.

Answer 4

In my own dating world, I have met a variety of men that were all night and day from each other.  And in some instances there were some that were crazy about me, clingy, and couldn't get enough of me.  And others who would wait days before calling, show no emotions, and could not communicate worth a flip.  

But in the process of it all... I realize that I do not need to chase after a guy.  If a guy is interested and wants to get to know you, spend time with you, or anything else.... he will make the effort to do so.  And that is why chasing after him does you no good, he has already made his mind up and would be after you if he wanted to be with you.  

Like even recently, I had a very handsome guy write to be my friend on my space.  My first thought was, "Oh my goodness he is gorgeous, I need to write and find out who this guy is!"  And then I realized, this is exactly what he wants me to do.  He probably is already full of himself, and is use to women running after him.  So, I stood firm and strong, and decided that if there is to be anything more between this guy and I, he will have to be the one to make the effort.  I will reciprocate, but he has to be the one to start it all.  

I know this works... as I have a few other friends on my space, nice guys, not HUNKS, but good guys. We are friends, we exchange messages almost everyday. And as a woman I know these guys would like nothing more than for me to run down and meet them right now.  But I don't.  I told them I wanted to keep things more comfortable and perhaps in time, we can meet.  I thought this would run them off, but no. They are more intrigued by the bits and pieces that I have shared of my life, and the person that I am, and I know if I decided to tell them to meet me somewhere tomorrow, they would be there.  

The point of my story, that I have learned and realize... is that I need to act the exact same way as I just explained with a guy that I am totally crazy attracted to.  I think it instigates competition for a man, and he will do anything in his power for you.  VERSUS - a man who can already see the woman is easily accessible in all senses, and who is ready and willing to run after the guy so where he can lay back and do nothing.  

SO - in your case - if you see these subtle hints as something you should be reacting to, then do so.  If you do not think these hints are making enough of an effort for you to know he is interested, then forget him.  You should not have to be the one who goes above and beyond to get the guy to pay any attention to you! You deserve someone who will, and believe me, there is someone who will!!!

Thanks for reading!