The Last Word
"It says here," said the husband, "that men use on the average only 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day. That proves that women talk more than men," he added smugly.
"Of course," said his wife. "Women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say."
"What?" said her husband.
The Jealous Wife
The wife was terribly jealous. Evening after evening, she subjected her husband to a searching inspection. when she would find even a single hair on his coat, there would be a terrible scene!
One night, she found nothing.
"So" she screamed, "Now it's a bald-headed woman!"
Two Bats
Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One says, "Let's fly out of the cave and get some blood."
"We're new here," says the second one. "It's dark out, and we don't know where to look. We'd better wait until the other bats go with us."
The first bat replies, "Who needs them? I can find some blood somewhere." He flies out of the cave. When he returns, he is covered with blood.
The second bat says excitedly, "Where did you get the blood?"
The first bat takes his buddy to the mouth of the cave. Pointing into the night, he asks, "See that black building over there?"
"Yes," the other bat answers.
"Well," says the first bat, "I didn't."
What Happened?
Two men are walking down the street. The man on the left is dragging his right foot, the man on the right is dragging his left foot.
The man on the right says to the man on the left, "what happened to you?" Viet Nam, 1968..It was bad. The man then ask the man on the left, what happened to you?
"Oh, dog c**p, about two blocks back."
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