The girl I'm dating has some weird issues?

Question

This girl I'm dating saids she is scared and confused about how much she likes me. Also she saids she has a weird issue about what other people think of her, and also what they think of her with me. She even said she worries if she was too nice or not nice enough to random people like the bagboy at the grocery store. She said she realized she liked me more than she thought the other day, and she's scared and confused. We always starting to be really physical, going from 1 to third base for 3 days in a row, and now she saids he should take it slow and be less physical (We are both virgins). She wants to take baby steps. She also used to drive me around, since I didn't have my truck done and I'm in college. She said she wants me to be more in control, and I give her that. I feel bad every time she takes me somewhere.

How can I help her with her issues? We almost broke up because of them, and she said she really really likes me, but she has those issues. I really like this girl, she is basically one in a million.

Answer 1

Basically all girls have those issues. Its great that she likes you enough to verbalize her feelings.

As far as guy things go.. stand up for her to her friends (Dont be mean to them though). But even more important, stand up for her in front of YOUR friends. Tell her she pretty in public where other people can hear. It will help her with her self esteem. When she worries if shes nice enough to someone, be just as nice to that person so she feels like shes being normally nice. Dinner surprises are an awesome idea. Having a car, and a job are huge things in a relationship.

As far as her not knowing of she likes you enough, theres a reason why shes sticking around, impress her.

How long have you been going out?

Answer 2

I don't think the issue is you needing to be "more of a man" as much as it is that she seems to haev really low self confidence and appears very unsure of herself in general. As you're both virgins, this is all probably very strange to her simply from lack of experience. Slow down and stay within both of your comfort zones rather than looking for how things should be and whether you should be playing mroe of a man role or not. Talk with her more and get a sense of what she is comfortable with. Hang out with other friends together more so taht she stops wondering about how otehrs think of her with you and starts to realize that no one is looking poorly on your relationship.

Answer 3

I don't think the issue is you needing to be "more of a man" as much as it is that she seems to haev really low self confidence and appears very unsure of herself in general. As you're both virgins, this is all probably very strange to her simply from lack of experience. Slow down and stay within both of your comfort zones rather than looking for how things should be and whether you should be playing mroe of a man role or not. Talk with her more and get a sense of what she is comfortable with. Hang out with other friends together more so taht she stops wondering about how otehrs think of her with you and starts to realize that no one is looking poorly on your relationship.

Answer 4

I know you don't want to hear this, but you can't help her. Not in the ways you want to.

She has to want to help herself, and she's got to take control of her own life. You can't do that for her.

Sounds like she has problems letting people get close to her. And she may have control issues. Meaning she needs to have some control, not have someone be in control of her.

Is she in college too? Maybe she could take advantage of some free consoling there?

Maybe in addition to seeking consoling, she should talk to her doctor about how she feels as well. She could have chemical imbalance that medications could help with.

It's ok that she wants to take things slow, and if your ok with it, then try to support her and be patient. But don't start changing your behavior just to please her.

And what do you think "Old Fashioned" type means? To me that has a negative connotation with it. It means your in total control over the relationship. Means you do everything for her and make all the decisions. You don't want that do you?

It's not "manly" to drive. That's just what she perceives as "manly." I know plenty of couples where the woman drives most of the time.

You really need to figure out what it is you want in a relationship and talk with her about it. Don't just bend to her every whim, or let her make you feel bad that your not doing what she wants.

Now you can be gentleman. That never goes out of style!

Open doors for her; Including the car door. Sounds silly but it's just respectful. When you take her to the big fancy supper, pull out her chair for her, ask her what she wants and order for her. Little simple things like that are nice but not overbearing.

Answer 5

She probably has Anxiety. And maybe realtionship trust issues. I kinda have that too, like whenever I feel like Im getting close to someone I start feeling pukey whenever Im around them and then try to avoid them. You should support and encourage her, research to see if she actually does have anxiety, and if she does try to get her help or just try to help her yourself.

Good luck =]

Answer 6

Just be a man and have s*x with her somewhat soon.  Take her out on dates a lot.  Go out 2 weekends a month.