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The groom's mother and the bride has total opposite senses of style. What does the groom do?

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The object in question is particularly the wedding dress. The bride wants simple, the mother wants glamour. How to make them see each other's bests?

PS. The mother has the money.

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  1. THE BRIDES DAY!!! Tell mom you will find another way to pay for the dress. If she gives your fiance any more problems.  GROW UP and tell mom she doesn't run the party. This is your fiance specail day. Not hers.


  2. Its the bride and grooms wedding! NOT the mother in law. Just because she may be paying for it doesnt mean she gets to pick it out. Thats ridiculous! The only thing the Mother in Law has a say in about the dress is how much she spends on it.

    This is why I say- pay for your own wedding people! Even if you dont have as much money as you would like. You can avoid issues like this one.

  3. I suggest the bride pay for her own gown and select what she desires.

    When allowing mom to pay, mom has the power . . . and gets some input.

    This problem is why many couples do not allow parents to pay, preferring instead to pay for their own weddings . . . . and do things their own way, without parental input.

    If bride cannot pay for own gown?  First, ask yourself why.  Is she too young to wed at this time?  Both bride and groom should complete their educations and start their careers before marriage.  So if bride is working, she can pay for her own gown . . . and buy the one she wants.

  4. The groom's mother is using her money to manipulate her son's wedding.  Nobody but the bride should have ANY say in what she wears on her wedding day.  If she asks for advice, great, but it's not fair for a future mother-in-law to say she will only pay for a wedding dress that she chooses.  She should either want to contribute or not.

  5. As groom you must tell your mother that it is not her wedding and while she might have the money it is the bride's day.  How would she feel or how did she feel when someone else told her how to dress for her wedding? You had better get in there and have a serious talk with your mom and get her to take that back seat or you are gonna have many many problems and your wife will be right, mom needs to butt out.  IF that means she takes her money and walks, so be it  you guys get married at the justice of the peace.  Point is if you let mom get away with this now she will be the one controlling and ruining your lives.  Nip it in the Bud.

  6. tell the mom that it is up to the bride that the mother already had her wedding now its the brides turn

  7. Well, I was going to say it's your wedding pick what you want, but then I read groom's mother is paying for it.

    I would say take a day and both the bride and the mother should go and have the bride try on any number of dresses and pick one that both of them like.

    If that doesn't work they both need to sit down and talk and discuss what they each want, and try to reach a compromise.

  8. the  bride is the bride...she wears what she wants

    the groom stays out because he can't say anything to help and bless his heart for wanting to try but he can't win...no matter what

    the bride could "glamour" another part of the wedding but she does get to pick her own dress

  9. Who is getting married? The bride or the mother in law? Since they can't agree, the bride will have to find a way to pay for it herself since the mother in law has no say in it.

  10. Many are the brides and mothers who go to the dress store and pick something totally opposite of what they said they would like.

    It is the dress and how it looks on the bride, not the style.

    Hopefully, the groom stays out of it. What do men know of dresses? Nothing, except they want them as low cut as possible.  

    Even me the kibitzer, have seen dresses that were very ornate, and I thought they were beautiful. And I am a practical not frilly person.

    Wait and see on the dress, middle ground might be achieved without even trying.

  11. It's the brides day and she will be the one wearing the dress, so she should pick it .  plus you want the bride to be comfortable and she is more likely to be comfortable in a dress she picks.

  12. Agree with the bride. It's HER dress, so it should be her style. To be honest, the groom's mother has no say in the style, if she's willing to pay for the dress, then she's doing it as a gift, not dependant on whether she likes it or not. I could totally hate a gift I'm buying for someone, but as long as they like it...that's the most important thing.

  13. You should marry someone else.  I'm sure that your future mother-in-law is well meaning.  The problem is that she will use the money to always get what she wants.  She will pay for vacations, but you will have to go where she wants to go.  She'll throw that babies party too, but it will be done her way.  She'll help you design your place too, but her way.  Are you seeing a pattern?  Money does help a lot in the world these days, just get used to swallowing your pride.  It will always be that way too.  You have a big decision.  Good Luck!

  14. sorry but I wouldn't give a hoot if someone else wanted ME to wear SOMETHING GLAMOROUS..it's the brides decision in the wedding dress...

    same thing other way around

    say i want something glamorous and the mother of the groom wants something simple..tooooo bad.

  15. its the bride's wedding and its the bride's dress.  so the bride gets what she wants.  or they could compromise and get an inbtwn dress.  not too flashy not to simple.

  16. The bride should grow up and pay for her own gown and then she won't have these problems.

    She who wields the checkbook makes the decisions.

  17. You can't "make" anyone see the best in another person.  Especially while planning a wedding.

    If the bride wants simple, then she should go out and buy a simple gown.  

    If she's going to take the money, then they will have to reach a compromise.  Both B&G should see a therapist to help them come up with ways to word what they want to the mother.  

    The groom needs to be fairly neutral, but always side with his future wife.  Unless he wants to live the rest of his life married to mom.

  18. He tells his mother to back off it is the brides big day. Even if the mother is paying it is still about the bride.

  19. Even though the mother is the one buying the dress the bride should still be able to pick whichever dress she wants. The mother should understand that this is the brides dress, her personal style, something SHE loves and feels comfortable in.

    I wouldn't accept her money if I was the bride and get my own dress without her.

  20. The mother needs to understand that this is NOT HER WEDDING, if she want glam our she should get married again. When my wife and I got married we had a similar situation and Finally i just had to stand up and take up for my wife. I think that if the mom really wants y'all to be happy then she will understand and will follow your wishes.

  21. Simple.  The bride is wearing the dress, so the bride gets to choose what dress to wear.

    Just because mommy has the money DOES NOT mean that she carries a lot of weight.  She should realize her daughter wants to be happy and give her the money with NO strings attached (i.e. Bride and Groom make the decisions, mommy only donates money)...

    So, if my MIL did that to me, I'd tell her thank you for the offer of money however I want to have THIS dress so I will pay for it myself.

  22. The mother had her chance to pick the dress in HER wedding, now its the bride's turn.

    Groom should not be a mama's boy and let his fiance choose the dress she'll wear. Money or not, its the bride he'll have to deal with the rest of his life.

  23. Sorry,but the bride has every right to pick the dress she wants.I wouldn't care if my mother in law didn't like it.Just because MIL is paying doesn't mean she suppose to choose the dress.Thats just wrong if anyone follows that.

  24. The groom's mother? It is the bride's day and she has to pick the dress that she wants.  Does the groom's mother think that she can have the say because she is paying for it.  Talk about controlling.  If the mother doesn't like it then the bride should just pay for her own dress.  Don't compromise to please the mother.  You pick what you like.  My MIL didn't even see my dress until my wedding day.  This is why I paid for everything so that I could do everything my way.  It is the bride's special day, not the mother in law to bes.

  25. The bride should pay for her own dress and she can therefore dictate what style she wears.  The MOG can pay for other things and have a large say-so in picking them out.

    Groom should stand by BTBs side and know that she deserves to wear the dress she wants, not the one his mom wants!

  26. It's pretty clear that the bride should pick whichever dress that she wants. It is her wedding after all. I think the question is really "How much influence should the MIL have if paying for the wedding?". And the answer would be - The MIL is paying for the brides wedding not her own. If she wants a wedding that she makes the decision on, she needs to plan her own d**n wedding.

    I would recommend that the bride or groom approaches the MIL (maybe bring up a conversation over tea or lunch....not during an appointment) and just say that you are the one getting married and it's important to you that you have the wedding you've always wanted. And if it comes to it, then you'll decline her money if she can't allow you to have your own wedding.

    It's a tough answer, but it's also a tough situation.

    Best of luck!

  27. Even thought the mother has the money, it's the bride's dress, so she should choose (and the groom should TOTALLY back his bride on such a thing!).  How can a bride expect to feel beautiful on HER day in a dress she hates?!?!?!?!?

    If that's not an option, go to David's Bridal's $99 sale.  I'm SURE the bride can find something she loves that she can pay for herself.

    Stand by your bride!!!!

  28. The bride is the one who is wearing the dress, so she should choose the one she wants.  It's as simple as that.  If my future MIL tried to choose my dress because she is paying for it, I would gently decline the offer and pay for it myself.

  29. The groom stands up to his mother and backs up his wife to be.   The dress is the bride's decision.  It doesn't matter who is paying.

  30. The bride choses what she wears....it's gonna cover her @ss, right?????

    ..or the groom says, "Mom, since 'Sally' has her heart set on a particular style of dress, I will pay for what she wants...you put the bridal gown money you were gonna use to something else the wedding needs."

    ..or Sally buys her own dress. if she buys her own she has complete and total say without question in the style......and the mother can't say 'It's my coin so you wear what I want," right????

  31. they are going to have to talk it out, but in the end, it's up to the bride. I'm sure the mother does not want to make the bride feel uncomfortable.
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