The impossible, hard headed three year old son HELP!?

Question

He hits/kicks me and throws fits constantly. He won't stay in time out. I sometimes hit him back but I can't teach him not to hit by spanking him back. HELP, all suggestions wanted and needed!!

Answer 1

trust me i know i have a 3 year little girl, who ever said terrible 2's were wrong 3 is horrible, but i love her to death and wouldn't rade it for the world, but what i have to do is take something she really likes away and or send her to bed, that works sometimes

Answer 2

The Strong Willed Child by Dr. James Dobson helped me tremendously during those years, and even now for the teenage ones.

I used to have to get behind my son, wrap my legs and arms around him, and hold him until he calmed down. I would speak gently to him while doing this. It can't be something you do out of anger.

Also, I used the microwave timer for time outs. If my children talked or moved away, I said, "OK, I'm resetting the your time." I used one minute per age.

Answer 3

Be consistent.  If time outs don't work, spank.  (note:  spank, not beat--there is a big difference).  Whatever you choose, be consistent.  And if there is a daddy, make sure you both agree and are uniform.  The less discipline your child has had up to this point, the worse this year will be for you.  But if you don't fix this now, it will only get worse.  Good luck.

Answer 4

What, you have one of those too. Recently mine moved into a big girl bed, so I put a gate in the door to her room so she can't get up and fall down the stairs at night.

It also works great for keeping her in her room during time outs. She still test the rules and me every day several times a day, but at least I don't have to hold the door shut wile she's in time out anymore.

And just be consistent. She knows that if I tell her to stop doing something, she better stop before I count to three or she's in her room for 3 minutes or until the temper tantrum stops.

Hitting is an automatic three.  

Answer 5

I am going through the same thing with my 2 year old. I don't know what to tell you other than you are not alone. I will be thinking of you. Maybe someone will answer and be able to help both of us.  

Answer 6

I hate to say this , but everything your describing indicates the lack of dicipline on your part in the past 3 years. Hitting ANYONE is unacceptable, but hitting a parent is beyond that even. He obviously thinks he runs the show, and your inability to give him a good a** whipping and use other creative ways to dicipline him only reinforce this in his mind. Never, EVER spank, hit, or do anything else to your child that will actually do damage. But trust me, removing his pants, bending him over your knee and giving him a good spanking (one whack for each year of his age is generally good) will leave an impression on his mind that will speak volumes. Child abuse is horrendous, spanking IS NOT CHILD abuse. You don't spank him because it hurts you to see your child in pain. It hurts me everytime I spank my kids, get over it. You can also try taking away his favorite toys, not letting him go play, try anything. He MUST learn who's boss, soon. If he continues down this path, when he's an adult, he wont respect the authority of his employ, cops, or judges either. We all know how that will turn out.

Answer 7

When he gets out of time out put him back.  when he starts to hit and kick walk away.  You are enabling his tantrums by giving them attention.  To a small child attention is attention and when you react to something be it good or bad you are giving it attention.  Start praising and giving lots of attention when he behaves and walk away, shake your head show disappointment when he misbehaves.  

Answer 8

Ok here's what worked for me. I don't spank my kids so, yeah will leave it at that. Buy his favorite treat suckers, Popsicles whatever and when he misbehaves give everyone but him that item. Worked like a charm be sure to tell him he doesn't get one because he hit u or whatever.  Especially if its at a playdate with some of his friends. oooo he'll straighten up garanteed, but he'll also cry at the top of his lungs from being mad. But that'll change.

Answer 9

It depends on how verbal he is.  We use a lot of verbal communication with our three year old.  We tell him he needs to use his words, explain to him why he can't do certain things and why he should do others.  We reward him for good behavior and TRY to ignore the bad.  I think the talking it out part also helps to sidetrack what it is he's throwing a fit about.  Sometimes it helps the moment pass.