The loss and the pain?

Question

I'm 20 years old, I lost my best friend in a car accident September 21 2006. He was only 19. He was driving under the influence. I sometimes sit here and wonder different things. I want to open up and tell someone how I miss him even though it's almost been two years, it feels like yesterday still. I want to cry and scream why!?! But I just sit here and hold it inside, well not exactly because I am telling you, all of you, but it is not the same. I do not know any of you so it's like I'm telling myself; it's like I'm writing it in a diary. I just need to let it out. I need to tell someone, but no one completely understands me, no one will really listen to what I have to say. I'm lost. I need comfort. I need the pain in my heart to go away. I need him back.

Answer 1

There is no way to get him back. You should have let it out a looooong time ago. Go to a therapist

Answer 2

Perhaps you can find some closure at Al-Anon or Nar-Anon.  

If your friend was under the influence, he might have had a problem.  Your lack of acceptance of his loss may have something to do with your powerlessness over his actions, and Al-Anon/Nar-Anon can really help with that.

I feel for you -- have lost a few friends myself to irresponsible alcohol and drug use, and it's the disease that has me furious.

Answer 3

You have lost your friend, it's very pain full.

I am praying for his departed soul. May god bless him.

Pray for him.

Answer 4

I'm sorry for your loss. My friend also recently died from leukemia. I was devastated, so in a way, I kind of know what your going through. Maybe you should look into a therapist/psychologist. It might help. :)

Good luck!