The modified stanza of my epic. what do you think?

Question

On soaring wings and silvery feathers

The knight landed on the green, vast plain

Riding a stout and elegant beast

He carefully followed the half-seen lane

His steed, a beast that none had seen

Strolled with pride, its head held high

A unique mixture of many a beasts

Unchallenged on land, a lord of the sky

Answer 1

This is bloody fantastic! You have a rare talent. Oh my, this is just so evocative!

Answer 2

I read the first you posted and the one now posted, and this one is much better and noticed you graciously took the advice of me , and changed your poem

Good Job!!!  unique and different!! I enjoyed it !! Cheers !!!

Answer 3

As I am new to this thing, you might not want to listen to me. Just a warning. Please don't be offended.

I think that it's very whimsical, but beautiful and flowing.

Maybe you could consider changing '... the green, vast plain' to '... the vast, green plain.' I just think it sounds nicer. :)

I'm sorry, but 'stout' and 'elegant' just don't seem to go together, and 'riding' seems to simple. Maybe you could change the whole line:

/Sitting (try to find a synonym for that) upon a prideful, elegant beast/

And you might change 'carefully' to 'cautiously' and 'half-seen' to 'half-visible' or something, 'a beast that none had seen' to 'a beast that none yet knew', and 'A unique mixture of many a beasts' to 'An incomparable blend of (now you choose:) either many a beast' or '... many beasts,' although I would suggest using a different word than 'beast', since it's been used three times.

Oh wow, you actually took my advice... I love it. You could change the added bit:

'Its large crooked beak was that of an eagle's

Its mane a lion's, yet white and pure,

Its cry more deafening than those of a thousand seabird,

scarlet eyes shining bright.

After a brief, exhausted search,

The knight discovered a suitable spot

to rest his clanking armor (you may want to get rid of this line)

Beneath an oak, mildly underground (please add-- what do you mean by mildly underground?)

It was just the place he sought.'

Answer 4

niceeee