The most depressing fifth birthday ever?

Question

Yesterday was the day of my daughter's fifth birthday.

She was expecting 10 of her preschool friends to show up, they all said they would.

We were going to be at Build-A-Bear, then Friendly's then back to our house.

We had reservations for BABW and Friendly's.

Yesterday at 3, when the party was supposed to start. No one showed up. We waited an hour, no one came. I called all the moms, they said they forgot.

My daughter refuses to come out of her room. She has been crying since yesterday.

I've never dealt with this before, what do I do to cheer her up?

Answer 1

Oh, I am so sorry :-(   That is just plain mean of those parents. It's the most horrible feeling in the world when your baby is upset and there's not much you can do or say to make it better!

I'd make it up to her by taking her to all of those places just her.

Answer 2

I don't know what you can do this is bad judgment on the other parents side, all you can do is comfort your daughter, and love on her. Give lots of hugs and kisses and make sure she knows how much YOU love her.

Answer 3

You've got to be kidding me... people can be so cruel.

Anyway, you are right... it is time to fix the problem.

Tell your daughter to come out of her room...

put on her party clothes... go someplace really terrific...

take tons of pictures...

Then send her to school with "show and tell" ammunition (photos) and let the kids run home to mommy asking why they couldn't go to her party!!!

Okay... maybe that is too much... :o)

Maybe just explain to her that these things sometimes happen... "Things don't always turn out the way we want."

Explain to her that you can still go out and have a great time...

give her several choices of fun things to do and then let her decide which one she wants to do to celebrate. :o)

Good Luck!....

Answer 4

As the father of two young summer-birthday girls, I can certainly sympathize.  We always get a couple of "yes"es that don't show.  (Plus the assorted never-RSVPed people.)  But for 10 out of 10 to "forget"?  Something's not right with that group.

Answer 5

How awful...although it is not limited to just preschoolers.  My daughter was set to have four teen friends over for a weekend and with the exception of one, the other three won't be here because they forgot even after RSVPing two weeks ago that they would be here!

I would suggest taking an afternoon out with your daughter.  Go to Build-a-Bear..let her make her animal, dress it.  Take her to lunch at Friendly's or some other place she loves.  Got to her favorite places or stores and maybe take ina movie, got to a park or swimming...a day filled with the things she loves to do with her Mom.  As for now, all you can do is sit with her and admit how much the whole thing sucks and how upset you are as well.  Let her be angry, sad , hurt ...all of it...and reassure her that it is ok to feel that way.  Let her know that her friends may not have made the choice not to come, but that their Mom's did (because lets face it, at 5 it is the Mom's who should remember, not the kids...I don't know one 5 year old who will pass up BAB for anyreason).  And let her know that not all friends are like this and not all birthdays are either.  It may take a few days but she will be ok.

Answer 6

Wow...how horrible.  I personally would have let every single one of those mothers know how irresponsible they were and how upset they have made your child.  

Do you have a zoo or water park near by?

Answer 7

Thats horrible! How rude of the parents to not bother taking their kids, especially if they had said they would.

Your poor little girl, my son is 5 in a few weeks and I can only imagine the disappointment he would feel.

Tell her, to make up for it, she can have a special day wherever she likes (within reason!), maybe with a best friend. This may get her excited about something again.

You must be so mad! I would be letting the parents know how disappointed you are, not to mention how upset your daughter is. That is just plain disrespectful.

Answer 8

God bless both of you.  I know how you feel.

I think it's the summertime birthday.  It is so cruel and unfair.

The same thing happened to my daughter last year on her ninth birthday.  We planned a skating party.  I wish I could give you an answer, but I didn't have one either.  I just held my daughter a lot and let her cry.  It took a few days for her to stop thinking about it.  I honestly don't think she'll ever really get over it.

This year, we had the best birthday party ever.  Instead of inviting all her friends to a big party, we only invited her three best friends.  They spent the entire day with us.  We decorated tool boxes for father's day, played games, watched videos, etc.  I made small cakes and let each child decorate two of them (one to eat and one to take with them).  Because I didn't have to pay for a party venue, I could spend a lot more per child and still came out cheaper.

All of the children, including my daughter, said that it was the best birthday party ever.  My daughter is already saying that she wants to do it again next year.

OH, I sent invitations out a couple of weeks in advance.  I then called the mothers and explained to them how important it was to my daughter.  I called and reminded them again two days before.  I picked up all the girls from home, so I had an excuse for calling - I needed to find out if a certain time was okay to pick them up.

I'm almost in tears thinking about your daughter.  It's so hard to watch them get their hearts broken.

Answer 9

That's the saddest thing I ever heard!!!! Your poor daughter!!

I wouldn't even know what to do!! Just tell her how much YOU love her, that people are mean sometimes, and do something extra special with her!

Answer 10

Hi.

That must be tough!

Having no one show up.

I feel sorry for you.

Maybe you could go to Build a bear with just your daughter and make it a mother daughter day.

I would've loved that when I was 5.

I hope that she has a really good birthday despite what has happend!

Good luck!

:D

Answer 11

The same thing happened to my sister and I never forgot how sad she was, it still makes me tear up and I am 35. I am so sorry for your daughter. My sisters experience is why we try to never miss a party no matter how much of a pain it is for our schedule, unless my kids are sick and then I make sure that I call and explain why we cannot come.

One time a girl gave my daughter an invite the day before, I assumed it was for the weekend and we missed it. I called and apologized to the parents, but they held it at 3:30 on a school day, immediately after our biggest field trip of the year, I honestly think they planned it at a time no kids would be able to come.

Just give her lots of hugs and assure her she will meet a friend one day who will not do this, in these situations time is the best healer. My youngest had a friend who kept not showing on us, her mom would schedule the date and we would wait and wait, she was 6 at the time, and she cried and cried every time. We quit making plans with them and did something extra fun, even if it was just making a fort under the table, she loves that.