The mothers are sometimes just as bad as the absent fathers....what do you think?

Question

The guy usually gets a bad rap for being an absent father and not providing for his child/children, and rightly so. They always say that children who grow up in single parent homes have a greater risk of leading a single parent home themselves w/ multiple kids. My question is shouldn't some of the mothers get some of the blame as well? I believe that you can still be in the picture and be a deadbeat. I am mainly talking about the mothers who have multiple children by countless fathers, who always want a handout from the government, and who refuse to do better.Yes I know each case is different.

I am asking this because I watched the CNN special "Black in America" and they dedicated an entire segment to absent fathers. The story centered around a single mother of a 1yr old daughter and now she was pregnant w/ twins from another guy, who was also not in the picture. Did CNN not see anything wrong w/ that?

Answer 1

I think it's bad when a father ditches but it's even worst when a mother does it to their child. Especially since the mother carries the baby for 9 months. Feels it kick and goes through the labor. To me, it's just worst. And I am a mother so I'm not being judgemental.

I have a daughter I love and she has 2 sisters and it's very hard on me, their father never works or can't hold down a job so I have to pay all the bills and I'm only 19, while he is almost 31. And their mother doesn't take care of them so the responsibility is totally thrown on me. Not really having a choice and being asked how I felt. I'm 19, and I have my own daughter to take care of, and 2 other kids. It's totally not fair.

So, I just think it is so much worst when a mother walks out on their child.

Answer 2

I personally think that you should be married before having kids, and don't sleep around.  There are many mothers who don't allow their child's father to see the kids, and this I think is bad, the kids will get angry for that in their teenage years, and of course the father will take the blame.  But there are a lot of fathers who do ditch there kids,  a larger number than  the number of women leaving their kids.  I don't think that men in general should be blamed, and not all absent fathers are the blame either.  I did not see the CNN show, but I do think that having many kids from many fathers is not a good idea.  It is really easy to say no to s*x, if the guy or girl doesn't respect their partners choice to wait on the s*x, then they aren't the right partner anyway.  So overall, in families where there is an absent parent, it is a lot of the time the absent parents fault, but also the other parents fault if they keep the absent parent from seeing their child(ren), or both parents fault if they have kids too soon, or if they have s*x before marriage, or before they are financially ready for kids.

Answer 3

who are you to judge the structure of anyones family ..having a dad around isnt always the ideal situation and certainly not needed. I know so many crappy fathers married to mom and both parents are dysfunctional idiots

Answer 4

Women that have children with a multitude of men have no respect for themselves and are obviously confused; not only about what name to put on the birth ceritficate but in general.  AT LOST.  Might be a better term.

Answer 5

I totally agree that deadbeat moms need to be recognized. Both are equally responsible

Answer 6

I think the problem stems from the fact that women such as the one you mentioned will not have set a good example to her own kids and so they will just repeat history....they have no concept of what is healthy....it isn't healthy to have children by multiple Fathers no matter what anyone says....and a Father is always needed....many women and men leave SO easily.....a relationship and family takes a lot of work but people only think in an individual way...what THEY want.

Answer 7

I completely agree with you.  There are some women who I strongly believe should have a manadotory tubal ligation.