The perfect age gap between kids?

Question

By the time I give birth to the baby in my tummy my daughter will be almost 3 years old. I feel like I waited a LONG time to be able to have another baby. I don't want to wait that long again if we are to have another baby after this one. The way I see it, the larger the age gap, the more years I have to spend at home to look after my kids until they are school age, and I would REALLY like to be working shortly after I graduate uni at the end of 2011. My second child is due in December, if I am to start trying for number 3 how soon should we begin after #2 is born? I would wait about 7 years to have another child but then I will have another 5 years of stay-at-home mum ahead of me when what I really want to do is work (but I wont put my kids in full time daycare until they are at least 4 and able to communicate properly and are more independant)

Answer 1

We have 4 kids (9yrs down to 1yr old), age gaps are 3 1/4 years between the first two, 18 months between the second and third and 3 1/4 years between the third and fourth.

To us 3 years is great but any more and they would not be able to tollerate each other to play together. 18 Months was way too short.... my 2nd child totally missed out on being a baby, I was sick with m/s from 6 weeks and pre term labour issues from 20 weeks. Bub #3 (and 4 actually) was born early at 35 weeks and I was in hospital with him for 17 days. Circumstances for me didn't help, but I found my 2nd child didn't have the same bond with me once I came home with baby #3..... I feel so badly for what she must have felt when I couldn't be the mum she needed.

FWIW, gender also plays a big part in the age gap that works. Our first two are girls and next two are boys. Our Middle two are constantly bikering...

Answer 2

Obviously your proirtiy is to enter the work force; so why are you even considering a 3rd child. Plans change so even if you wanted 3 settle for 2 and have the career you always wanted as well. I have 4 children and work and you have no idea the amount of stress it puts on you; your children and your relationship and I am fortunate enough to work from home.

Answer 3

To be honest it kinda seems pointless having child number 3 if its such a huge deal for you to have to stay at home..

If what you really wanna do is work, why not decide to stick with the 2 children?

It is a huge privilege to be able to stay at home with your children, I have to work basically fulltime hours even though I have a young child just to make basic ends meet, if I could do this staying at home, I would definantly only want to work one or two days a week.

Think carefully before you wish away time with your children.

Answer 4

There is no "perfect" age gap. my kids are 17 months apart and that age gap is what worked for my family.

Answer 5

The perfect age gap between the two kids most be between two to four years.

Answer 6

if you can afford to have another child right after this one, then as soon as your doc says you are able to have s*x again try for another one. there is no perfect age gap. most people have about 2 years in between kids i think.

Answer 7

yes

Answer 8

the perfect time gap is three years

Answer 9

first of all, 3 years between is not a long time. i have two brothers. im 8 years older from one and 13 years older than the other. second, i think that they would earn dependancy and communication IN daycare easier and before the age of four. interacting with kids all day is good for kids.