The "dedicated" woman, taking care of hearth and home. What happens if you are left alone and become disabled

Question

Here's an actual post from a woman in a group I belong to trying to get the disability support she is entitled to:

On Mon, 8/4/08, XXXX <XXXX. net> wrote:

From: XXXX <XXXX. net>

Subject: [XXXX] Denied by Social Security

ToXXXX@ yahoogroups. com

Date: Monday, August 4, 2008, 3:04 PM

"Received notice today that I was denied for disability because I haven't worked enough. Not only that but that I'm not eligible for ANY social security services.

So what the h**l is a person supposed to do? Neither of my husbands wanted me to work and my second marriage ended and I had to go on welfare all the jobs I worked were under the table so I wouldn't lose the benefits for my kids. If you haven't been in a situation where you have to depend on welfare for your kids ... well ... the money they give you is very little and you have to do what you can do get by.

Not sure what I'm going to do now. I can't work to get any credits and I can't get ssdi because I have no benefits. Maybe I should just dig out my pistol since I'm no good for anything anyway."

Who will take care of the "dedicated" women when nobody else will?

Answer 1

And what is a woman go to do that ends up on the recieving end of an office postal ? Better stay home with the kids, no ?

Answer 2

You and I are not going to be here long enough to see this come true for some of the brain trust here, and chances are it will for a few of the most smug and self-satisfied.  

Nor will they remember how they hooted at the common sense tactic of taking responsibility for yourself and your future.  (Ever notice how none of them even address it?)

But it all comes home to roost.  Will I feel sorry for them at that time?

Nah.

Answer 3

Yes, I know of older women who are going through this right now. One I know of does get SS benefits, around  $475.00 a month. This is supposed to pay for telephone, rent, fuel for a vehicle,medicines,  electricity, light bulbs, cleaners and clothing--anything that he food stamps don&#039;t cover. It is pathetic and she hasn&#039;t had a phone (which is very dangerous) for over a year. Sometimes older women have to share a small apartment or home just so they can get by. I understand the worthlessness this woman must feel.  

Answer 4

My mom is having the same problem.  And she has also considered suicide (pray for her, please).  I would appeal.  

It&#039;s part of the &quot;game&quot; ssi plays.  They deny you, you appeal or get yourself a lawyer and then you get your benefits.  Most people have to try 3 times.  I read that on some website.

What is her disability???

Answer 5

sound&#039;s phony. Under existing law&#039;s women are given the right to steal money err I mean entitled to there husbands money..

     I just don&#039;t believe it. There are far too many law&#039;s and programs that give money to women for this to be believable.

Answer 6

I ask this of all my Friends who are also housewives, then I urge them to volunteer and work on some kind of education. I love being a housewife who works part time, but we must be prepared just in case. I have an education that I&#039;m continuing and work a couple hours a week at school to keep qualified. I also put a large military severance pay into the bank and investments so that if something happens I have a year of solid income in reserve. Also we continue to contribute to my IRA.  Life insurance helps but will not last forever. My husband is military so Ive given a lot of thought as to what me and my children would do if something should go wrong.

Answer 7

This would be in the US, I guess. here in Australia we have a reasonable welfare safety net, and someone in this situation would have a chnace to get a pension and maybe even subsidised housing.

Of course, the pension isn&#039;t much and subsidised housing is often not that great, but for an older person it offers at least some sort of security.

A friend of mine was living in the US with her hubby who got sick and couldn&#039;t work. He lost his health care entitlement when he lost his job, and they had no money at all. He couldn&#039;t cope and took off, she was left with nothing and was entitled to nothing except food coupons of some kind for her child. No money at all for her bills, house etc, nothing at all.

The system they have there just seems to grind people into awful poverty and make it hard for anyone to get back onto their feet once they&#039;ve had some bad luck.

Women who don&#039;t have marketable skills can be really caught in a hard place if their husband dies, or worse still, trades up to a younger model, which generally happens when wife number one has just reached that interesting age known as &#039;mature worker&#039; ~ which most people know that for unskilled workers means &#039;unemployable&#039;.

It&#039;s unfair really because sahms gain a LOT of skills that are really useful in the workplace. They are usually willing to do anything without saying &#039;oh yuck it&#039;s dirty&#039;, they are very loyal, almost always punctual and treat others well ~ for small businesses particularly they can&#039;t go past a mum looking for a few hours in the middle of the day, you will never get a better worker.

Sad to say, though, for most people, part time wages in a friendly spot won&#039;t pay the full time bills, and if the woman is disabled, well, it can get pretty bad. And that&#039;s here, with a sound welfare system.

I feel really sorry for the woman you quoted ~ unless she can find a sympathetic employer, she will have a pretty hard time of it, I guess.

Best wishes to her :-)

Answer 8

Some women may be entitled to child support, but that doesn&#039;t mean they&#039;ll actually get any.

Even if a woman stays home after she has kids, she should:

-maintain some assets of her own, in her name only; and

-have some marketable skills.

Too many women say &quot;It will never happen to me!&quot; And for a lot, it does.

Answer 9

It&#039;s completely wrong how stay at home parents are treated. They are the ones providing the good members of society afterall.  

Answer 10

This is the sad reality of how devalued a woman&#039;s labour is in the home.

This woman worked for years as a homemaker, she just never made a salary.

Because she didn&#039;t have an employer in the economy but rather worked in her family economy at home, she is denied social assistance.

In other words, her contributions are without value and her labour is worthless.

This breaks my heart.

Answer 11

Well, I don&#039;t know what the situation is in the USA, but in the UK I believe mothers with children are entitled to certain benefits whether they have worked or not.  The children have to be taken care of.  Surely this woman is entitled to something for the children at least?  Even in America?

If not, then clearly the law in the USA is an idiot, and needs to be changed.

And speaking for myself, I don&#039;t stay at home with the children because I am &#039;dedicated&#039;, but because I refuse to wear myself out &#039;juggling&#039;.  Nor am I going to be terrorised into shoving my children into daycare by the prospect of possible abandonment by my husband.

Answer 12

No 1. must have come from a test tube.

I am very sorry for your friends situation - she is supposed to go and suck c o ck!  I imagine that is an impossibility in many cases of dissability.   If you haven&#039;t got a c o ck to suck you are worthless and die.

Answer 13

I&#039;m surprised that some women just can not see the forest for the trees.

Ladies, none of us know what will happen in the future and to be just reliant on a man for financial security is akin to playing russian roulette.

You never know if your husband will leave you, die from an accident, etc.

It pays for your own peace of mind to look after your own wellbeing and future, but each to their own, no one can force you to.

Edit- it&#039;s interesting that women are expected to be at home with no career/job and be reliant on the husband&#039;s money, but then you hear of comments from the anti&#039;s quite often that such women are stealing their husband&#039;s money.

Imo, it&#039;s better from the start to have your own to avoid such disputes.

Answer 14

That&#039;s exactly why I won&#039;t let it happen to me... I have my own checking, my own savings, zero debt, an emergency fund and an &quot;FU&quot; fund (an idea given to the boys club of the business world, but an excellent idea for everyone.) Soon my degree will be complete, I&#039;ll have military service backing it up, and God as my witness I will never go hungry again! Heheh...

But seriously. Yes. Women MUST be able to take care of themselves in the event &quot;til death do you part&quot; ends pre-posthumously.... errr... oui. Get your education online while the kids are taking naps, in school, or at soccer practice. I was a SAHM for a couple years, and while I hated it to the very core of my being, I did have a ton of free time. Don&#039;t let yourself be considered dead last- you&#039;re a priority too.