The "our" loneliness: is it inside or outside of us? ?

Question

The "our" loneliness: is it inside or outside of us? ?

Answer 1

Our loneliness has started from outside of us...

Looking at it, if we saw our father or mother or parents often “withdrawn” from us as a child for whatever reasons when we as a child needed their loves and attentions. We would want to complain or do all sort of things to draw their attentions. We could turn to be a naughty child or a very good one to draw their attentions to ourselves. We as a child might have resented that lacking of attentions and learned to cope and live with it and that way was to become our normal to us and become model for our behaviour in relationships.

So now, we become withdrawn, lonely inside but we cope as our ways of lives.

Answer 2

Our loneliness i think must be more inside of us. Outside of us has many people and living creatures to see and talk to, whereas, if we are alone with our own thoughts, we can be very lonely on the inside. However, it is also possible to be with a group of people, or even just one other, and still feel lonely within yourself. As long as you feel at peace with your thoughts, the loneliness should lessen...

Answer 3

I think that loneliness exists always inside you, because you can be in the middle of a crowd and feel lonely and be completely alone and yet feeling very accompanied by your own self.

Answer 4

It is cetrainly inside us combinated with the exterior world which forces every human being to be isolated and to act on his own...

When we get closed in ourselves and we dont want any contact with the other world it is a combination of the circumstances which have given us the green light to act like that...

Answer 5

Loneliness is a feeling inside you, i.e. it's subjective.

"Loneliness" is a word which has bad connotations. "Being on your own" is not so bad, and "Solitude" is even better.

You're only lonely if you allow yourself to feel lonely. Similarly, you're only happy if you decide to feel happy. Your choice. :-)

Answer 6

Yes, I can say I agree with many of the others with the response of "inside". However, I would like take you down another path. Let's say you are a healthy, stable, well adjusted individual, now let's crash your plane into a remote island mountain. You have everything you need to survive...except another being. We do, most of us anyhow, need that external exchange and human relation. Granted we can be alone in a crowd, but you would be REALLY alone stranded on an island. That situation, even with the intimate company of God, would leave the majority of us very lonely.

Answer 7

Our loneliness is inside and surrounding us like a  fog and we are unable to see who is trying to get closer to ourselves.

Take care.

Answer 8

Humans are isolated and feeling alone at times, yet they are not lonely. We feel alienated within a crowd of our peers and friends, yet it is not loneliness.

Loneliness is a feeling of abject disorientation, of a casting aside from one’s own soul, as the soul is an interactive  particle of the great universal Spirit.

The violent chemical reactions provoked within from a despairing feeling of being utterly outcast and detached from all that one holds dear leads to deep depression of the senses and collapse in ones emotional immunity.

It is in no way to be confused with boredom, a need for companionship or a feeling of disparity between oneself and those about us. To feel remotely ostracised from humanity, love and kindredness is loneliness, the mind severed from empathic communication with other souls ...

And then great peace is found in solitude, in introspection, in contemplation of the universe within our senses and imagination. Those moments create the person we become. To fear these solitary times of is to fear oneself.

The ego prohibits the conceding or acceptance of man requiring patronage of others in his world, or teh affliction o fbouts of loneliness,  the quest for self sufficiency, wherein one no longer needs company, but is able to choose ones own circle is the objective.

Life is an art a science of balancing the spiritual and physical within and about us. A balanced perception is born of and creates a balanced emotional and mental outlook and conditioned thinking.

Answer 9

our loneliness is INSIDE... outside, we are so crowded....

Answer 10

Hmm isn't loneliness a state of mind?

Answer 11

I think that it is both - that the two are reflections. We see ourselves by looking out as well as in. And as Carl Rogers said "what is most personal is most universal"

I think you can unpackage 'lonelienss ' further to describe what it actually means to you to have that feeling. For me it is often a feeling of being misunderstood, not received - not enough empathy out there and I can remedy this by being empathic towards myself and understanding that those skills are rare in the world.

I get that feeling when I have expectations that cannot be met in the world outside  and disappointment in the world is something that we all share  from time to time - that feeling of - 'Is this all there is?'

Ironically when we share it the loneliness dissipate too.

Answer 12

Loneliness is a mental state,so inside only.

Answer 13

We wear it like a cloak...it is grey ... it tells others to keep away.

Answer 14

It is inside of us.   We can be among a hundred people and still feel lonely.  We can be alone by the beach and feel content and full of company.

Answer 15

Inside and out.....

Answer 16

Inside it will project outwards.

Answer 17

The other day, I tried to hold a conversation with myself. I had questions so I asked myself questions. I tried to listen to the voice within for the answers. But I was surprised to realize that before even I could hear any voice therein there was my own voice to answer all that I questioned; a voice so subtle, succinct and soft that if I had not been attentive, I might not have noticed. It was as if that all the questions I ask came by the reason of their answers already within; may be sometimes we do not know that we have known; and may be there is nothing within that within and yet unresolved. I could ask for my own advice, seek my own counsel, and resort to my reason and my conscience for guidance, support and assurance, but if I do not find myself there I might not find anything but all the echoes of a world around me, the without. I draw in things of the world to keep the things of the world there already company.

I stand alone searching the meanings of my loneliness, thinking the world and feeling my loneliness. Why do I feel alone, I ask. If I am really alone than why do I miss things and people? I see that certain things I have go happily with certain other things that too I have while certain others do not go along with certain other things, I then feel that I should be like that. I too should have my preferences, likes and dislikes for my company. I too should have someone to keep me company; my sense of loneliness is not truly mine, my loneliness is; my sense of loneliness belongs to people I seek.

If you try to hold conversation with yourself, and ask questions that you surely have, then you too will realize that even before you are able to imagine an answer into existence, there is a voice, prompt, soft, subtle only minutely differentiated from the voice of your questioning, this is your voice, alone, calling on, needing to be heard the way you hear the unsaid words of the ones you could love, and care.

The voice is your best friend, the first and lasting.

Answer 18

It has to start outside, because simply its the opposite of togetherness, togetherness needs outside resources/individuals to be accomplished, I said starts outside but it keeps withdrawing to the inner sanctum until reaching the freezing point inside of us.