The relationship with my father went so wrong? what i can i do?

Question

i have some problems with my father. he doesn't care for me but when there is something to blame for he is always there. and if i do something wrong (don't think some big things) he is huffy for months, he doesn't talk to us(my sister and my mother) and if we ask what is the problem he says nothing.(or he doesn't say anything at all) and i just can't stand this, he is been doing it for years now, and after months and months i started to feel like i don't love him anymore. we used to be in a relationship with my father, sometimes i really miss it, but i just want to be happy again. what should i do? if i tried to talk to him, he won't listen.. i just can't do this anymore..

Answer 1

Talk to him. Tell him what you feel. Tell him his behavior gives you pain. Name specific incidents when his attitude made you suffer. Ask him directly why he behaves in a way that gives such pain to his own daughter. Don't blame him just let him know how negative his influence is on you. Tell him that you love him but he makes things that make you doubt it. You don't want to stop loving him but he drives you in this direction. Ask him to get professional help. Both of you can go together

to a consultant and say what's on your mind. He/she will give you guys tools to start a new way. If your father refuses to change and ignores

your plea then ask a new "what I can do" question, but at this stage you should give him the opportunity to change.

Answer 2

I have lots of problems with my father too. I don't even talk to him. I don't live with him anymore, but when I did he didn't even talk to me. Every time I go home, to visit my mother, the only person who phones me and cares about me and really wants to know i am doing, he treats me like ****.

But well.... I just gave it up. Sometimes, just forget and be an adult. Live your own live by yourself.

Some adults are total pricks and you have to see this, even when it's hard for you and you're talking about your own father.

Wish u luck, dear.

Answer 3

Maybe try talking to your mom about this..

it might be a bit intense..

But just try..

I can't really say as much, Cause I JUST posted a question about my father. He's always drinking and spending all my mom's money on beer, he doesn't have a job, but we have a Great relationship.. but

I'm not sure what us kids can do.

I mean we can't really control our family issues, now can we...?

Answer 4

well tell ur dad.....listen to u one time and very carefully and explain the situation and tell him to give u answers....

well try to talk to ur dad 1 more time....give it a try

Answer 5

You dad is putting you guys through emotional abuse. He's probably passive-aggressive too.  Most people with abusive personalities don't change, they seek control and they get a kick out of punishing those around them.  Most counselors find they are impossible to treat because they don't accept that they have a problem. I just hope that you are near 18 and move out soon.

Examples of emotional abuse:

Insulting you repeatedly

Calling you names

Yelling at you

Blaming you for everything

Just watch out that in the future you don't look for a guy that has similar traits or else the cycle will continue.

Best wishes!

Answer 6

to the first answerer the c of unt your answers on alot peoples questions are not very funny,you are just a time waster,and shouldn't bother writing anything if you can't answer properly!

Answer 7

Hi

its really a tough situation u r going through, but what i think is that your father is going through some other ups n downs in his life which is not relevant to his family, & he is not able to share it wid u guys, just try to find out, is everything fine with him other than the family issues, i mean in his workplace, or somewhere else, i guess this too is a type of depression that u scold people & don't share ur feelings & emotions wid ur loved ones who really care for u. if he is not talking to u tell someone elder to him to talk to him, like ur fathers brother or a close friend that might help.................

Answer 8

Sounds like he needs a figurative "kick in the head".

Get him out of his element, and on his own.  Not his home, or place he's usually at and comforable in.  Perhaps a new restaurant.

Then let him know that he's about to lose you.  Explain how he makes you feel, and that you're starting to think it's not worth it.

Answer 9

Seems like you're father is unhappy with his life.  

Answer 10

I had a exact problem dad wouldn't talk to me for weeks because I took my cousin's side in a war he was having. But any way see a shrink or talk to him about it. Just try it

Answer 11

you should go and speak with him and discuss this problem with him ..maybe he would understand .

Answer 12

As much as it hurts, ignore him until he changes. If he doesn't all you have lost is more heartache. He sounds like a jewel. A jewel of petrified spit oops should have used an h after the s, and no p. Well he's the petrified one in the sewer of sludge that apparently has oozed from his brain.

"how some men can give their sperm but not love their children and still claim to be fathers is beyond me''

Answer 13

Maybe you should consider family counciling? There might be a big reason your father has been like this, can you remeber anything signifigante that may have altered his mood in such a drastic way? Maybe job loss, a loved one dying? I know my own father gets upset around Christmas because both his parents died around that time.  I would suggest trying to talk with your mother about this and then if she thinks its a good idea you should all consider counciling.

Answer 14

It is really sad and can understand why you feel you hate him .Your father seems to have a lot of problems .Probably what you need to do is discuss as a family .You all need to st him down and tell him how you all feel .I think the best thing for him is therapy .

Answer 15

gain the confidence to talk about this in his face, you have to save ur fmily no matter wht ! try to ask him to drvie you guys somewhere, drinck a cup of coffee and start talking about how fo you feel about him for years. might be the rest of ur fmily dont have the confidence to speak out. so let you be the one? action speaks louder than words! go for it girl!

Answer 16

talk to him, and tell him how you feel, his your father and loves you no matter what you do.