The separation anxiety is ruining our relationship...im dying here?

Question

My daughter is 11 months old. she is terribly attached to me. she will freak if my fiance walks into a room, or tries to hold her because he is the one who watches her when i work at night. i spend all day with her. eventually he says she will settle when its jsut the two of them. he is so upset about their relationship its literally brought him to tears. she will nto let him hold her without crying, and has been the case for almost 6 weeks id say. its tearing my fiance and i apart, and i feel awful for the baby and him as well. i dotn know what to do. when will this end..how do i make it better??? im so desparate

Answer 1

the only thing i can suggest is, you leave him with her more often, when your not working, go shopping and leave them together. tell him to do fun things with her - go swimming, go to the park, a soft play centre etc. then she'll realise daddy is really cool and fun to be with, she wont give you a second thought!

Answer 2

well, separation anxiety usually hits its peak at a year, so this is pretty normal. as for the 6 weeks...ruby would not go to ANYONE from the time she was 4 months until she was 8 1/2 months!! 18 weeks like that!!! i am sure your experience will be shorter.

there isn't much you can do about the baby's anxiety, as she is already staying with your fiance at night. really, she will grow out of it. in the meantime, the more time she spends with both of you at the same time, the better, though i realize as a working mom your time is likely hard to manipulate. regardless, again, she will grow out of it. the best thing you two can do is focus on NOT letting it become a bigger issue. it is normal. totally normal. it will end. there will come a time when you will be like, "who IS this baby?" case in point: ruby is so obsessed with daddy right now, she is on him like glue the entire time he is home. EVERYTHING is daddy. your fiance's time will come. if it is tearing you two apart, you need to find a way to stop that from happening...this is temporary, so don't let it do permanent damage to your relationship. good luck!!!!

Answer 3

Try to think if there are things that you do with her that he does not-ie. games, songs, field trips, etc.  Have him start doing some of those "comfortable"activities with her.  Also, they do need more time together.  Much of the time they are together is night time and that is when many of the task type activities happen like dinner, bath and bed time.  That time of day is hard for a lot of parents without the added problems he is facing.