The struggle for sanity, and belief??Any mormons out there??

Question

As much as I purport to be a follower of Christ, to be a Mormon, raised from Birth, I still do have doubts regarding Christ, and even more regarding the church I was raised in. I attend church, I hold callings in church, I teach the children in our ward about the Gospel, and yet, I wonder sometimes if I really believe in these things myself? How can I come to terms with my own fears and still be a faithful follower, or can I be one or the other only? I struggle with addiction, with past abuse, and with same-s*x attraction. How can I be the kind of person I want to be, or feel I need to be, when I am not sure who I AM??? I hope this makes sense...

Answer 1

i recently went through this my self. here are two links for questions that might help (questions i already answered- look for my answer to get an idea of my answer to you).  i read evry material against this church and the struggle within me was almost to great to bear.  i finally took a retreat my by myself.  i went into the mountains for two days to hike and pray and be alone, and i finally felt i got my answers.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

my next answer starts with "first, a thank you to tagsmommy"

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

we all need to go through something like this- at least most of us do.  that wake up call that you've been going along for the ride, but never truly knew yourself.  it makes your testimony stronger if you have to fight for it.  as for the same s*x thing, my brother in law is dealing with this as well.  the bishop truly can help you there.  if he is a good bishop, he won't judge you- he will love you and help you.  i am told that when people are born feeling that way, it is a trial for them to overcome- like any addiction.  you said you are prone to addiction, well, this is probably the hardest to overcome, but with prayer, you can do anything you feel the Lord wants you to do.  he understands what you are going through- better than anyone else.  he knows your heart and soul and wants to be there for you- no matter what you decide!  take some time to yourself, away from the world and pour your heart out, then do what you are prompted to do- whatever that may be. that's why it's personal revelation- God knows what's best for each person at each time in their life.

good luck- i know your pain...from very recently!

Answer 2

It's not perfect advice but remember, "this too shall pass" Maybe you should talk to a friend or the Bishop.

Do you have a patriatical blessing? I read or think about mine every day. It is by far the best advice, support, encouragement, and feel good in my life.

I have had periods of doubt in my own life. I too struggle with past abuse. I tend to wallow in depression. I am trying though. God knows this and I know this.

I keep a journal. It's amazing to me the release that comes when I write. We have been instructed to do this and I have a testimony of it's healing powers.

It's also worth looking at lds.org and mormon.org. Both websites have alot of resources you may be interested in.

I read a quote once that basically said, 'if your life sucks now imagine how awesome of a spirit you must be for Satan to go to all the trouble of tempting you so much.'

I would also just encourage you to pray. Your problems may not be solved but you can gain quiet strength and courage to wade it out.

Answer 3

You need theophostics, this kind of prayer theorpy cannot be found int he mormon church, I went thru it, I was seeing demons, had been sexually abused and maybe had been thru SRA, struggling with s*x addiction, drinking, finding love on all the wrong places ect, ect ect and had some pretty unexplained things happen to me in my childhood, you go to www.theophostic.com and see if you can find someone who does this. If you hit a deadend, you are just not ready for healing. And ask if anyone is traine d in "Restoring the foundation" ministry because you may need even more help then just theophostics. This may even heal you of having samesex feelings, unless you don;t want to be healed of this, well anyways... the info is there.

Answer 4

I am sorry that this is a long answer, I slimed it down and it still ended up long.

The definition of insanity is doing the same with over and over without any change. So, as long as you are not banging your head against the wall, you are not insane. You are sane. Remember that, YOU ARE SANE.

For belief, it is defined as “The mental act, condition, or habit of placing trust or confidence in another”.

Looking at these two definitions and what you said, you are searching for belief, but are perfectly sane (and normal) while doing that.

About everything else you are asking about, it is very personal to find out where you are at. Only you can do that. I think that you first need to start out by finding where you are going to put your belief. Is it going to be in something earthy, worldly, yourself, or spiritually, Jesus Christ, Heavenly Father, and the Holy Ghost, or a false god, an idol, or something else? Depending on where you put your belief will give you on a path to go down. As for me, even though it is difficult, heart-breaking, tough, and painful at times, I put my belief in Jesus Christ, Heavenly Father, and The Holy Ghost. Besides all the negative that comes with this, I do find comfort, peace, quietness, hope, and calmness here. I put a lot of strength in "Be thou humble; and the Lord thy God shall lead thee by the hand, and give thee answer to thy prayers” (D&C 112:10).

Once you have a belief you can move forward into finding who you are and how you fit into this world (I am assuming that it will be in Jesus, Heavenly Father, and the Holy Ghost as I continue). There is a book called “The Peacegiver” by James L. Ferrell. It is a book about the atonement, but written as a parable, not another book about it using all difinations. It is a wonderful book that a friend gave me as I have been struggling with my on testimony. The very first sentence of the book is “I am the way,” the Lord declared. “After your tribulation I will feel after you and if you harden not your hearts, and stiffen not your necks against me, I will heal you.” (John 14:6 and D&C 12:13)

One of the biggest points I got out of the book is that agency is not the ability to choose, because choices are always bound by certain limitations. Rather, agency has to do with a particular kind of choice. As used in the scriptures, agency is the capacity to choose who we will follow – the Lord of Light or the Lord of Darkness. That is the choice that was at stake in the premortal realm. And it is a choice we may retain here, even when bound and gagged.

So, as you are choosing what to do now, the choice will take you one of two ways, lightness or darkness. As you are thinking about what to do, look at which direction the choice will take you.

"Before the world was, the gospel was central to God's eternal plan. It is an everlasting gospel--now restored in its fulness. With such a foundation, this Church will not be moved from its place, even through the Millennium. The gospel of Jesus Christ is a sure foundation upon which we can build our individual faith. Some of us are weak; some are strong. We can waffle 'like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed' (James 1:6), or we can anchor ourselves with cords of spiritual steel, rooted and grounded to the eternal truths of the gospel.

"Such faith will not prevent life's problems but will help when things go wrong. Bad things happen to good people. Accidents occur. Some married couples may not be blessed with children. Others may not marry in this life. The Lord is aware of these circumstances. He will bestow all the blessings that He has in store for His children--in His own way and in His own time. Be patient, keep an eternal perspective, and you will be protected." (Russell M. Nelson)

One final thought, you have been given the gift of The Holy Ghost. No matter what you do, or have done, you will always have that gift. No one, thing, or act can take that away from you. Everyone is “blessed from on high, and receive knowledge” (D&C 1:28) from the Holy Ghost. “No man can know that Jesus is the Lord, but by the Holy Ghost.” (1 Corth 12:3) The scriptures that go with this can go on and on and on.

You have the power within you (by the Spirit) to know who you are, why you are here, and what you are to be doing here. You have the tools to remind you of these things, you have already been given the answer many times before. Your patriarchal blessing, your scriptures (all of them), prayer, fasting, the atonement, your past revelations, your memory, will all help you, they will all give you the peace and comfort you desire. And remember, “God knoweth all things” (Mormon 8:17) so He is willing to help you, He knows what you are going through, you just have to be willing to ask and then receive the answer.

"For whom the Lord loveth he correcteth; even as a father with the son in whom he delighteth.” Proverbs 3:12.

Best wishes!!!

Remember you are not alone, o

Answer 5

You are not going to get any answers on here. You must go speak to your Bishop. Prayer is crucial - the only way to strengthen and grow a testimony of Christ is to pray and study. You have many issues - you need to go through them with your Bishop.

Answer 6

I also struggled with belief.  That is how I came to the church.  This is not unique.  First be open to yourself and others that you have questions and doubts.  Don't find fault, find answers.  

I think you are in the position of Peter.  He was called and followed after Jesus for three years.  He witnessed miracles, he had a testimony. Jesus told him, "But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren."  Here he was designated to lead the entire church and he was not yet converted.

Study it out what it takes to be converted.  See if that is the desire of your heart. I think it is or you would not reach for help.

Answer 7

It seems to me that the only thing keeping you from truly knowing who you are is your Mormon identity, they are like chains attached to your neck when you are just a stone's throw away from understanding.

There is no such thing as sanity, just one thousand different forms of insanity.

Btw, since you asked this question be prepared for people to try and convert you.

Answer 8

God will probably understand. He's "Omniscient" after all.

But whatever happens, don't become a Pagan. Those people are retards.

Answer 9

It makes TOTAL sense. I'm kind of in the same boat... (except for the same-s*x thing).  I'm approaching 30 and just had my 3rd baby though, and I just feel like I'm hitting that "who am I" phase.  Today was the first time I've been to church in about 9 months.  I just don't feel like going right now, and I'm ok with that.  I'm doing a lot of soul searching, praying, meditating, reading different books, listening to audio books, etc.  Take a break for a while, if you need to.  Just don't go off the deep end and get into some weird voodoo or whatever.  You see a lot of people do that.  The Church IS true.  Sometimes, you just have to find out in your own way.

Answer 10

I would suggest you need to know who you are for that answer. To know yourself, you must know Jesus. I say this in the most caring way possible; the Mormon church does not know the true divine saving Jesus. Read your bible. Start with John, then read through Hebrews, Acts, and Romans. Read it as if you have never heard any of it before. Set aside all of the doctrine of your church for the study and focus on the Word of God. If you seek Him with an honest open heart and mind, He won't let you down. Jesus forgives, He does not condemn. Our salvation is from Him alone and not our own works. Our desire to follow His ways is a result of our love for him, not a requirement for our salvation.

Don't give up. Keep searching for Him. Keep praying. I will be praying for you.