The unspoken laws of equine salesmanship.....?

Question

Here is my list of things that I've found amusing over my years, have said, and probably lesson learned won't say again.

~Said in the most upbeat tone of voice to a hard core cowboy, "Doesn't that there donkey have the most perfect conformation you've ever seen?" All the while, donkey turns and breys the loudest he can at us.

~Said to a snooty Derby type of woman while all my geldings stood at the fence "hanging out". I told her,"And these are a special new breed of horse, they all have 5 legs!" She didn't take to kindly to it, got back in her truck and drove away, all the while, I'm laughing myself to the point of tears.

~Guiding a nice 30 something year old couple towards a gelding they came to see and said,"this horse is so gentle he wouldn't hurt a fly." Knowing that a few seconds later and right one cue, the gelding turned into a bucking fit and stomping match with the pestering flies.

What are your unspoken laws?

Answer 1

I, having made my living for maybe 30-35 yrs trading horses, know that all you have is the success of your last sale and your reputation, the latter being the most important...so, the following would be my personal unspoken laws of equine salesmanship?

1/  If a horse is cold back, call it...lots of folks that know what that means, don't care, they consider that the horse has heart and once they do their little dance in the morning, it's all over, (which it usually is)

2/  Never, never sell a horse unless you tell them he is "heavy" and don't make it sound like a little thing, suggest that they have their vet check him out.

3/  Never, never sell a cribber without calling it, it's like selling a car with a cracked block, YOU JUST DON'T DO IT~

4/  Usually, if you tell someone, outright, what you consider a flaw in the horse, then follow it with what you consider a plus, they will listen to the plus and take it seriously, because you were just telling them about a not so positive thing about the horse on your own volition.  

5/  if a horse is not sound, you don't have to act like a vet, but definitely tell they that they should look at or have their vet look at something that may, or may not be an unsoundness, but that you wanted to draw their attention to it anyway.

6/  Being the mother of 4 sons, I still don't think that it is ethical to stick one of your kids on a horse's back just to sell them...yes, just because they are up there, does make an impression on the potential buyer, but heck, your kid might have been riding this horse or many like him for years and can ride over the top of just about anything.  

Bottom line, if I am selling a horse, I am not going to let this customer leave the driveway with this horse in his trailer without knowing if he is heavy, if he bucks, if he is lame, if he is proud cut (one of my biggest complaints when it's done to me)...in other words, treat potential buyers as you would want to be treated, and I am serious...when it all boils down, all you have is your reputation, and remember, you come by that "honestly"...you get the reputation that you deserve.

Answer 2

I had a gal show up at my door one day saying that she wanted to buy my quarter horse gelding in the front pasture. I looked at her and showed her the papers on the horse and she left in a huff. He was a purebred Arabian Stallion! I will admit that he was from racing and endurance lines but I don't see how she could have missed the fact that he was a stallion.

Answer 3

I was selling a filly that I had broke, never in her life did she ever think about bucking, except when a potential buyer came to look at her. It was one of those feel good bucks but her whole heart was not in it. Fortunately the lady we sold her to was a horse trainer her self, so she just laughed!

Answer 4

We had a horse for sale some time ago and a guy came out to look at him and told us we should have put our best looking horse in the barn, because he made the other horse look bad. We new the guy and thought it was funny, but it did make sense if your trying to sell a horse and you have one that is outstanding and the one for sale is average.

Answer 5

When I was helping a friend sell her yearling filly, I was talking to the potential buyers who were there to see her about how quiet she was as I brought her in from the pasture.  For some reason, upon entering the barn she did a 180 turn, caught me off guard, and took off like a bat out of h**l back outside.  She had never done that before - EVER - and never did it since.  Fortunately, the buyers thought it was a funny coincendence and ended up buying her anyway...

Answer 6

The things that come to mind are more "buyership"...

1) If the seller tells you a horse is more than you can handle, believe it.

2) If you want a seller to do something special with a horse (ride a colt 30 more days, breed a broodmare, leave a broodmare open, get a coggins/health papers to haul out of state, hold a horse until your trainer can come by to look...)  plan to put up some money to show you are serious.  We get these kind of people every day, and usually never see them again.

3) Don't answer an ad for a pleasure prospect and then expect me to honestly tell you he will make a great barrel horse, too.

4)  Don't waste our time by looking at a (fill in the blank) when you really want a (fill in the blank), and then ask me to come off my price because the horse does not meet your needs.

5) Don't ask me to see the $5000 show prospects when you really only plan to buy a $1500 trail horse.  It takes a lot of time to prepare them for presenting to a show buyer, and if you just want a trail horse I won't worry if he is clipped perfectly and scrubbed to a showring shine.

6)  If you really don't want a mare, falling in love with the horse won't change that  - she'll still be a mare.

7)  Do your homework.

8) Never buy the first horse you see.

I know this was supposed to be a lighthearted question, but I bet I get a few smiles from the breeders and trainers out there that go through this, too.

Answer 7

All I know is that if someone comes to look at your horse, and asks what "those funny scabs are on the insides of his legs,".......that person is not buying my horse.

I swear, with the way the industry is and the increased possibility of my horse ending up at an auction/slaughterhouse because someone who buys him decides they can't afford him, I'm not going to hesitate to put people through a pop quiz on horse ownership....just to make sure they KNOW how to take care of one...lol.

Answer 8

haha that is pretty funny but you lsot yourself some sales though. No mum believes to be trueful about your horses when buying but i did do something like that once.

I really didn't like these people that came to see my thoroughbred but they were evry interested. Anyways he was a windsucker and he was windsucking in his stable and they are like has your horse been biting the walls and i said no just me and it the wood. They thought i must have taken quite a bad fall but at least they didnt buy my old boy :)

Answer 9

hahaha those are great!

i have only one: "Sure he loads!!!" Of course, the buyer didn't mention that they had a rickety stock trailer with no ramp. My colt was only used to ramps and very sturdy horse trailers. He took one look that thing clanging down the driveway, turned tail and ran. Priceless!!!

Answer 10

*conversating between the barn owner and people checking out the barn to consider boarding at, whilst staring at me with my hand up my horse's sheath*

"This doesn't happen often"