The worst excuses you have been given for train delays and funniest announcments?

Question

I have a couple here:-

1.(funniest announcment) 'We are sorrry for the delay but this is caused by leaves on the track, points failiure, signalling failure, awaiting a member of staff, a broken down train and a guard breaking down. Now I am fed up and am going home, let me know if they are able to think of another excuse for you all.'

2. (kinda funny but had to be their to really understand it) this train has been delayed by atleast 15 minutes, i repeat at least 15 minutes, except another identical message in exactly 14 minutes'

3.(worst excuse) 'this train has been delayed from departing the station due to a light bulb in first class blowing and we are currently awaiting an engineer to replace the bulb'

anyone else have some?

Answer 1

Here's a airport delay during a blizzard:

In the process of de-icing the plane, the de-icer machine froze over. A new de-icer machine will be coming to de-ice the de-icer.

Answer 2

This train is filled up with 10 pound of c4 and claymore mines, do not move, I will be back  

Answer 3

This amused me. Said over the tannoy on a train departing Newcastle for Exeter. (Initially in straightforward accent) 'This train will call at Durham, Darlington, York, Leeds, Sheffield, Derby, Birmingham New Street, Cheltenham Spa, Bristol Parkway, Bristol Temple Meads (change to broad mock Devonshire accent) where, me ole darlings we shall enter the glorious West Country and call at Taunton and Exeter St. Davids.

Answer 4

my dog ate the train..

o.o

Answer 5

I've only been on commuter trains in London and our only delay wasn't funny, but on Amtrak some years ago, the train was delayed because a Grizzly (identified by a retired Forest Ranger) was on the track and the crew was afraid to go out and chase it off.  Ultimately, it got off its butt and walked away.

Answer 6

Well, this is a bit different, I am an engineer in freight service, and I had a dispatcher call and tell us we would be delayed for a mule race.

Seems there was a cross country mule race that crossed the tracks and the organizers called the railraod and asked them to hold all trains and sure enough they did!  

Answer 7

Actually, this was just last month on the #2 ACE (Altamont Commuter Express) when we came to a stop about 4 miles outside the Lathrop/Manteca station:

"Ummmm... We're experiencing a delay. Dispatch hasn't said what the delay IS, but we hope it will be brief"

15 minutes later - "Well Folks, this delay wasn't as brief as we hoped.  Dispatch says there is a Union Pacific Crew up ahead, and then should be finished shortly"

5 mintues later still -"Well Folks, Dispatch says we should be able to move in 15 minutes."

15 minutes later - "We've been given a clear track, and THANK you for you wireless users and those with Cell-Phones who were kind enough to call Union Pacific and complain."

NOTHING more pissed off than Friday commuters delayed from getting home !!

Answer 8

We apologize But Due to The snow on the track.....The winter fest has been canceled