Thearpy isn't working out, I'm not liking me thearpist anymore are they suupose to tell you what to do?

Question

I'm very upset, stressed, therapist isn't working out. Is she suppose to tell me what to do. I don't want to go back. I'm tired of telling a stranger my business. Advice?

Answer 1

I used to go to psychologists and therapists all the time.  I found them very helpful.

They are not supposed to tell you what to do -- in all honesty, how could they?  Like you said, they're technically a stranger; they haven't known you your whole life nor do they know every bit of your story.  They are there to help you figure out what to do by asking you the right questions to help you self-examine.  If nothing else, they're someone to get advice from and to rant to on a regular basis.

But you have to trust that they will do that.  Just tell them everything that's on your mind:  what you did today, what worries you, the guy that pissed you off while you were driving today... all of those things will spur them to say the things that you need to hear.

They can provide a little bit of advice on how to act, but not in the way that they can solve your problems for you.  They sometimes mention their own observances and other situations that they have heard of or seen and how it worked out for them... or sometimes they even share things about their own lives when they are relavent (I have issues with my dad expecting too much of me and my psychologist had the same problem).

The bottom line is that they are there to help you help yourself.  They can't provide all the answers, but they can help you see the door; but you have to go make your decision to walk through it yourself (that sounds cheesy, I know, but it's true).

I think they are totally worth it.

Answer 2

Are you sure it's not working? Or is it just stirring up issues you would rather not deal with. I once thought therapy wasn't working, then I realized I didn't want to feel better. Re-evaluate what your goals are. If you don't like that particular therapist, then get a new one. It won't hurt her feelings. She has a therapist too. lol

Answer 3

It is hard to find the right therapist you can connect with. Stop going to this one and try a different one. Good luck. It will be worth it in the end.

Answer 4

No, a therapist isn't supposed to tell you what to do. He should ASK THE RIGHT questions, which make you figure out yourself what you should do :-)

Answer 5

You're beginning to see clearly now. Quit "therapy".Think for yourself, don't you let no therapist or anyone tell you what to do. Be happy! ☼

Answer 6

No they shouldnt,     get a new one or write in a diary

Answer 7

Your therapist should only be giving you advice and suggestions with coping with whatever it is you are going through. If it is not working out, perhaps it's just the one therapist and try seeking another.

Answer 8

Absolutely not - a therapist should be there for you and get you talking and help you decide what the right thing is for you to do - a therapist should not be telling you what to do, even if you come out and say "what should I do" the therapist should respond with something like "what do you feel your choices are". The conversation should always go back to you and what you think. A therapist who tells you what to do is setting you up to be dependant on therapy and is doing nothing to give you the strength to stand on your own. It sounds like she might be a bit judgemental which could be why you aren't comfortable telling her your business. Not all therapists are like this, it might be worth your while to try another one.

Answer 9

Your therapist is supposed to help you help yourself by introducing you to new ways of thinking. If your a negative person, they will try to assist you in thinking positive etc... Are you going to therapy for your self? Or do you have to go for someone? You get out what you put in... I had a friend who had to go because of being an *** and fighting with everyone, he did not fair out well because he did not think he had a problem. I had anxiety issues, I went and it changed my life!

Answer 10

Switch therapists.  And they can provide guidance.  They can tell you what they think you should do in an effort to help you.  But certainly don't give up on therapy.  Just try someone else.

Answer 11

If your unhappy with your therapist then drop her and try someone else. You would probably do better with self help books and save a lot of money also.

Answer 12

no there suppose to work with you i suggest a place in st.peters call for dr.puhtwola lol thats my thearpist

Answer 13

Therapy is usually stressful because you are facing issues and truths about yourself and growth and realization hurts.  I would say if you really hate him try someone else but be careful you aren't just looking for someone to be nice to you and agree with everything you say because you won't grow at all that way. If you are in therapy you must want things to change, you have to commit yourself to that and remember your goal.

Answer 14

a therapist's job isn't to tell you what to do.  it's to assist you in helping yourself.  it's based on the assumption that no one else can help you....only you can.  but most of us don't have the innate skillset to KNOW how to get from where we are to where we want to be.  A good therapist can only help you think your issues through so you can make the best decision for yourself.

wish you the best!

Answer 15

no tehy are supposed to work with you and help you not give you answers. find a new one u connect better with

Answer 16

What do you mean telling what to do, like rob a bank? They are suppose to suggest things that may help you with your situation. Therapist are there to help you, to make it work you need to be honest to that person and yourself. Some people aren't ready to let it all go. Best of luck to you.

Answer 17

No, a therapist isn't supposed to tell you what to do.  They are there to help you identify what is wrong and lead you to your goal, not do the work for you.  For a lot of people, part of their problem is the reliance on others to tell them how to fix things, putting them in the "helpless child" roll.  Also, keep in mind, a therapist is a professional.  He/She will understand if you aren't comfortable with them, and may even help you find someone that you will be more comfortable with.  As far as telling a stranger your business, that's something that you should understand isn't the case.  You have to tell her your business, and she will not, must not, judge you.  Only show you how/why that has affected you, and help you find a solution.  Don't give up on therapy.  It was the most important thing I did in my adult life, and the world would be better if more people could talk through their problems, as opposed to bottleing them up.  Good luck!