There's this creepy guy...?

Question

I own a boutique and he works at the deli next door as a prep cook or something. He's about 45 and literally looks like a child molester. His eyes are so creepy and he is just really weird in general.

I completely ignore him, trying not to make eye contact because he creeps me out so bad. One time, I had to take something to the dumpster (which was just one little trash bag) and he was back there... He said (in his weird Bevis type laughing voice) "Hehe, I'll open it for you". Even though I was more than capable of doing so. I said "thanks" without looking at him and walked away.

He always walks to and from the deli and passes my store (about 5x per day) and will look in at me at the very last moment. I usually look up to see who's walking by, because I'm always looking at people walking by, I try to look away immediately when he looks at me, but it just creeps me out!!! Besides being completely frigid like i usually am, how can I get this guy to stop staring at me? I'm afraid he is going to start stalking me or something.

Answer 1

well sadly you can't make somebody not stare at you. i would suggest you stay around people as much as possible, ask if someone can walk with you to the dumpster next time. plus see about some mace or other protection. things like this are easily pushed aside and then people are sorry that they didn't take it seriously later on when something bad happens to them. i would not give him any hints or attention because that's probably what he's hoping to get.

Answer 2

You have done well to avoid the female tendency to be overly nice when uncomfortable. It sounds as if this guy lacks people skills and he might have a crush on you! Yikes! This is a tricky situation because NO CONTACT and no verbal exchange is essential here. Consider having a male friend to come with you on regular bases for a while to take the garbage out and be with you (offer him a bit of money for the trouble), this will discourage a man that does not know how to communicate well. Better still, get a good GUARD DOG! This works like a charm to discourage weirdos and keep them away from you! take your dog to the store, to the garbage, everywhere. Your dog will pick up your discomfort around him and be extra protective. You might also want to consider borrowing from the library "THE GIFT OF FEAR" by: Kevin (Deveker?), it is full of Do's and Dont's for potential stalkers and self preservation.

Best of luck and keep trusting your instinct!

Monica.

Answer 3

I have to deal with someone like this at work.  A distributer who comes in about once a week ruins the afternoon.  The men I work with take off or go in the back as soon as his car pulls up (I can't leave I work in the showroom) the way he acts is repulsive.  He talks to me in baby talk, sits on top of my desk and sweats etc. When I complain about it to the men I work with it's like "oh be nice he's harmless".  I would love to see the shoe on the other foot though.  If a woman comes in who is any less than a beauty queen she gets treated like dirt and god help her if she's overweight.  Chivalry is dead.  

Answer 4

Maybe you can hire a security guard so you will feel protected during store hours. If you are parked close to the store ask him/her to walk you to your car.

Answer 5

yikes! the only thing you really can do is keep ignoring him. it couldnt hurt to carry a taser in your pocket either! better safe than sorry.

Answer 6

Isn't this kind of judgmental of someone you have never spoken to?Feeling safe in your :personal space" is definitely your right, but maybe your judging someone on looks, has he ever done anything that was truly alarming to you?

Answer 7

omg what a creep! If he does anything to you i suggest you tell someone, a friend try not to be on your own during your working hours! I'm sure he's harmless but you have to take precautions! Keep safe hun x

Answer 8

Whether he is handicapped or no, he still makes you uncomfortable.

And not to sound trite or anything, but Ted Bundy always greeted folks with a friendly smile.

If it were me, I would talk to his boss about it. If he is supposed to be working in the kitchen..what is he doing lurking about outside?

I would call a friend (a male friend) to come by when you have to take things outside. I would also consider some sort of panic alarm system if you don't have one already. When you leave for the day, have someone there.

I mean, at this point he has technically done nothing wrong. But he is creeping you out, and you are number one. Take steps to cover yourself. People can say you are judgmental, but aren't those same folks being judgmental of you for your feelings? I say trust your instinct..if you are wrong, then hey...you learn not to judge a book by it's cover. But there is always that "what if".

Answer 9

I would talk to the owner of the deli. If he/she is never there, get the number from the manager.

When you talk to the appropriate person, explain the situation and ask for the creep's full name so you can do your OWN background check. It'll cost you about $60 on Intelius.com. I've used this site and find it to be the most thorough.

Answer 10

Has it ever occurred to you that maybe he is handicapped?

I mean, He's in his 40's and working as a prep cook-- The only people who do that are either

A. Mentally Handicapped  , or

B. Have been in prison for a felony, and cannot get a better job.

People that age normally do not "choose" to go down that career path- they normally don't have a choice to get a better job.

If you are ever working and notice he is not, you could ask his manager or boss if they know what the deal is. That way at least you would know if you were in some sort of danger, or if it is just someone with a little crush on you- in which case you could nicely say when you see him that you are very busy when you are at work.

Although, if he is just looking and smiling, what is he really hurting? You might be the highlight of his day.