These are the synopsis of my new fantasy series (this's book 1),what do u think?

Question

its about a boy named victor greene who's a mathematics genius..after the mysterious murder of his father ,victor's mother get married to bank manager named zidan,zidan bribes (Camfur )orphanage manager and sends victor to Camfur orphanage during his honeymoon with his mother ..which will last 3 months..but at camfur orphanage victor finds horrible secrets....every one inside this orphanage is accustomed to magical creatures that go around.....magical equations that unlock secret doors..but no one is better with the math part more than victor ,after he learns math magic from sarah...and begins to master the magical equations ..he unravels a horrid truth ..that the soul thief (ghodnofer) is captured for centuries inside a secret room in the orphanage and now his allies icluding deadly creatures and even some of his friends will sneak throughout the orphanage searching for their master...but another problem remains unsolved ..ghodnofer's soul equation..(everyone who uses math magic has an equation that controls the current traits and state of his soul..by modifying the magical equation one can loose his conscience and fall into an endless coma...)the only one who can re modify the magical equation to awake ghodnofer is a natural math mage like victor(a natural math mage is someone who doesn't need a magnifying lens to write equations on....his magical mathematical talent just goes out by writing the equation on anything)..now ghodnofer's allies will convince victor to help them search for ghodnofer's equation inside the orphanage and awake back their master ..but will victor help them....when he finds out the true intentions of ghodnofer..and the and the horrid fact that he's his true father....and that the woman who'm he was raised up with is one of his most fatal enemies....?

(end of book1 )

Do u think it's original?

is the orphanage idea unrealatable and boring?

actualy i'm intending to enrich the plot line with alot of psychological drama and emotional dilemaas that face the characters in the orphanage.

do u like it guys?

is it strong enough as a plot line..actualy there're many plot twists especially in the end?

is it diffrent from harry potter?bec i realy hate it when all current juvenile fantasy work gets compared to it

plz don't comment on grammar and such things my writing style is of course another thing ...Thanks

Answer 1

Holy Cow. its perfect. after so many spin offs of best-sellers. your story is just a refreshing plot. the synopsis seems long, but i guess that is just to explain. What time period is it in. early eighteen hundreds? *that's what it would seem like.* its very original. i would change ghodnofer's name its odd. so is zidan, to be thrown in with a victor and sarah. its to odd, or change victors and Sarah's name. victor is good but sarah is generic. what about Ellis, Sapphire, or Areil. But other than that, run with it. you never know till you write it out. and i would take your snopsis off the site someone might steal your plot. other than that don't second guess yourself. take a chance and write it. whats the worst that could happen?  

Answer 2

It's a little confusing, but I'd probally read it.

It can't be more confusing then the book Dragonflight =)

Answer 3

Personally, I'd buy it, however, I know, you said no criticizing of your writing, but if you're writing a book... Anyways.. i like it, but your going a litttle bit "Voldemort-y, I'd say go for it, and until you get it "published" try lulu.com for some 1 book publications.

Answer 4

i'd read it! its clever. If you get published let me know