These problems are getting me freaking sick! i'm tired of IT!?

Question

I lived stressed now.

I am 20 years old, I am the oldest of 3. My brother is 17 and my sister is 11. I live with my parents for the time being.

About a month ago I took a vacation, I needed one badly.

I was waking up angry and stressed, crying, yelling at people - the first thing a did in the morning was yell. I felt evil and careless towards everything.( I almost jumped out of a car) So I left to my BF house for 3 weeks ( we live 3 hours away from each other.) I

By the second week at my boyfriends house I became homesick. I wanted to go back home. When I finally went back home I was extreamly happy, I did not want to leave my bf house but I missed everyone. But then reality hit me again, the reason I left was because my family's arguments have gone to an extream. They are emotionally hurting eachother with violent words.

We always argued but now since my father has a disability problem and we are in really bad debt there is so much stress. We are about to loose the house.

Tonight I could not sleep, and usually when I can not sleep I move to the living room or to my parents room. I am now allergic to my living room so I went to my parents. My mother is sick but a 2:00am she started cleaning th house my father has a back problem and does not want to take his pills and they start to argue. I left and told them: "I came here to relax, im leaving to my room, fix your issues." And my father told me " Most of the reason why we are having these issues is because of you" So I told him, "Well I am leaving then" (moving out)

This does not top the emotional stress I have everyday, yesterday I beat my sister, she understood why I did, and for some reason loved me afterwards because I explained why to her. She has a bad attitude problem, throwing things, yelling, screaming, hitting herself. She has learned these behaviors from my family, and now it's worse.

I talked to my parents when I came back from vacation, we cried, hugged, I told them what I was going through, but things are not any better.

I AM AFRAID. I think I might do something stupid, I almost jumped out of the car, I am stress I can't sleep, I look myself in my room.

The question is, should I move out if this is hurting me in such a great negative way, (dangerous to my life --- not suicide just to clarify)

Answer 1

Yes move out!  You are 20 for goodness sake.  

Answer 2

maybe it is you you blame everything on your family you wake up angry and start yelling you said you beat up your sister (she 11 your 20) i dont care if she understood its inexcusable and you spelled extreme wrong and have you thought about helping with the debt and do you have a job im not trying to be ignorant but you need to fix this and how are you going to move to your parents room dont they have to sleep  

Answer 3

You need to get all the extra advice you can get, you live with a dysfunctional. These problems will not automatically go away when you run away from home every now and then. These problems will continue with the rest of your life because this is your family. Every time you set foot in that house and deal with your family these problems will remain. Unless you sit down with your family and discuss them head on. If you need to move out,do so but have a study job that pays more than $12 dollars an hour and constantly work full time.Once you live on your own you will have a hard time making time for full time school. But this is a temporary solution from separating yourself from your family and your problems.  

Answer 4

Yes. You should always get away from situations that cause you great stress, if the benefits of staying are small and the risks of leaving are not greater than the stress. It sounds like that's where you are. Your fam isn't going to go anywhere, and the only way you can help them right now is to bring positiveness and love into their home when you're there. Like you obviously can with your sister, if you try. Living at your boyfriend's gave you perspective. If you live at home, your center is too insecure to allow you to avoid the spiraling misery in your family's home. It's not your fault. You're old enough to either know how to manage on your own, or to learn how, and you and your bf together can help each other, right? Go for it. When you return home as a true adult, you are your parents' peer and may have gained influence with them, and your visits may be more pleasant. I'm not sure I understand your reasons for staying, to be honest.

Answer 5

YES, you need to move out.  Either live with your bf or find a place of your own.  Get some kind of job, and get a little place.  You need to get out of the home situation ( it has and will continue to emotionally damage you ).

BE safe, don't do anything to hurt yourself.

PEACE TO YOU.

Answer 6

I have read your whole story for 3 or 4 times to analyse the situation and I have gathered a few points to ask and then tell you about some suggestion HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS whole complex problem......

I would like to analyse the situation in points AS if I were you.... ( wait )

MAY BE I AM NOT RIGHT but  I think I need to tell about them.....

1. You are 20 and your sister is only11, your brother is 17.

So, everybody is in their critical age. You need a total freedom, your brother aged 17 is getting more masculine(shaping his manhood mentally) and trying to have his own opinion,  (however you mentioned nothing about his role in the family, though) BUT your your sister being 11 is forming her " OWN EGO WORLD", shaping her views....she is at the age of her hormonal shift age, too. she is facing a critical but decisive period in her life.

Thus,she can be like that as you have mentioned. She is observing all the MESS and dispute around her, and getting mad, as she can do nothing to solve any adult's problem.

2. Your father has just turned now disable and the house is going to be out of hand, so your dad is suffering double. He is  feeling so helpless,

You and all family members now have to be UNITED and face the trouble and support your father at this stage. Everything will be a little better then after a while. Atleast TRY.

3. You are already "An adult" with a choice to move to your boy friend ( indeed you have the right to do so) BUT the time for your family is stressing. It is an entire new thing for them, though natural for you.

So, there is always a dispute and "rows" on your topic.

Keep relation with the boy "rationally and with mind". BUT don't move for better now, not at this movement. Don't give up to trouble. Face it and win over it.

4. Your sister needs your support and she loves you so much but she is losing " a friend", an advisor and " a guide" like you. She needs you so much, so she is desperate and hurting herself. Spend her a little more time as a good loving sister.

5. Your mother is suffering due to your father and a little due to you also because she has none and nobody LIKE YOU aged 20 to talk  to and consult  about all the problems. You are the best person for your mother since you are adult and intelligent enough.

Just talk, take her to kitchen and talk to console. Listen to her calmly. She will be  a little relaxed.

6. Whatever now  You are doing is  just normal , as moving to a boy friend, but your whole family is in " A BIG TROUBLE" as the situation is " SOMETHING NEW FOR THEM"... so when you are out they are having dispute, mess and row alltogether BUT  when you come back home they are hugging  and crying  holding you tight as they missed you so much and need your help.

So, WHAT TO DO.... ???

1. Sit down calmly

2. take a pencil & write yr duties

3. take all the circumstances

4. Make yourself happy being with your boyfriend but don't move for better, atleast not now.

5. Take care of your sister

6. Be little with your mother and father, console them. Talk to them.

God will award you sometime when you will be a parent. It is a big learning and experience of THE present LIFE.

"Behave with your parents in the same way as you expect in future to be behaved by your child"........

7. Do every thing patiently and with brain

8. Don't be emotional be rational and consistent.

9. Your role is very important but you don't have to devote youself at all at any cost.

10. Judge situation by yourself, not provided by others.

11. Take CARE OF YOURSELF above all.

--------------------------------------...

10. FORGIVE ME FOR MY ADVICE. I beg really your pardon. I felt in your skin. SORRY. God bless you and all your family.

Answer 7

OMG that sounds like my family.

Do you want to hear what I did?  I moved in with my boyfriend, and it wasnt much better :-(  

Now my family doesnt really talk to me, and they hate me, and me and my boyfriend fight everyday.  So just stay with your family hunnie, yeah they are annoying but at least you know they really love you.

Answer 8

i will advise you to saty at your parent house.Parents always think and decide better for their children.Although sometime they may be rude but they always love their children.

Answer 9

I think you could seriously consider talking with someone who can help you to get your emotions under control.  Maybe you're suffering from stress, which has caused depression and perhaps some underlying anger issues.

I also see you are taking on your parents' issues -- hon, you can't control whether your father takes his medication.. he's an adult and if he chooses to suffer, well, he does.  It's too bad he won't take the meds.  I'm sure he'd feel better, but that is out of your hands.

Your parents' financial situation is not your concern, either; however, i see that it would be stressful and a worry for all of you.  

If you are considering hurting yourself by jumping from a car, maybe it's time to see your doctor.  Let him know what's going on in your life and tell him about things which you discussed here.  I'm sure that, if he feels you would benefit from talking with someone and taking some medication to help you out, he will let you know.  

I'd also like to say that most counties in the united states have a mental health clinic, which provides free or reduced services and even medications to adults (and you are an adult) who have a low income.  Maybe that would be helpful too. hugs

Answer 10

Because you're emancipated, you should be able to take care of yourself and moving out may be the best thing for you. Also, for your younger siblings, reaching out to a non-profit organization that can provide them shelter for a month and provide your family with family therapy may help them out as well. I understand this is driving you crazy, but think about everyone else involved and how they need help also.

Answer 11

I would suggest you moving out.