They still let her have a pacifier! Help!?

Question

Okay so my partner & I finally got our daughter (my stepdaughter) off her pacifier when she was mid 2 (she is now now 3yrs 4 mo). She stop asking 2 weeks after we took her off.

Okay so, her grandmother (her mom's mom) gives her the pacifier when she take naps & sleeps still TODAY! we just found out 2 weeks ago she was doing this. Why would she do this if we finally got her off of that thing? That's not the only thing she does... Now the grandmother had her kids on the pacifier until they were 5!

Okay, so why would the grandmother do such a thing? He tells her to not do it and she and the mother of the child says "We'll do what we want to do over here and you do what you want to do over there." Won't this confuse the little girl if they aren't sharing at least the same rules across the board? Now she is asking for her "pacy" ..It pisses me off because i finally got her off of that thing...same thing happened about the potty but i won't go there!

Answer 1

Sounds like a power struggle.  You and your husband need to make it clear on what the rules are.  Does the mom of the child and the grandmother realize that they are actually doing harm to the child.  The longer she is allowed to have a pacy it will miss up not only her teeth but the form of her mouth.  I suggest that you talk with your pediatrician and dentist about this.  Because I know any rep tubal Dr and dentist will tell you that it will end up causing harm to the child's teeth and mouth.  Why do you think they tell you kids also need to be off the bottle by the time they are a year old.  Both of my kids were off the bottle by the day they turned a year old and my daughter was no longer taking a pacy by the time she was two.  Stand your ground with the child's mother and do not allow her to do what ever she wants to me it sounds as if she is one of these moms that just have kids as a trophy and could not care about what is best for them.

Answer 2

her grandmother has no respect for you and your rules.  that is your child and she needs to set her straight.  I would tell her that until she could follow my rules, she wouldn't be going over "there", she would be staying "here", if that was the way she felt about it.

Answer 3

You all, as caring adults in her life, need to sit around and talk it out until you reach a compromise. I suggest you do some research first (regarding the benefits of getting a child off a pacy at an early age).  They may not realize what this could do to her.  Also, to get her off of the pacy, buy some helium balloons, tie all of her pacy's to it, and let the balloons take away the pacy's. Tell her that they will go to another baby that needs the pacy (you can also tell her to make a wish). I saw this done on some nanny show once.  I hope her mother realizes that a 3 year old should not have a pacy at anytime!

Answer 4

tell the grandma she cant see the kid till she stops giving it a pacifier

Answer 5

Since the grandmother is not the parent, you need to tell her she has to follow the rules you have set for the little girl. Sit down with all the adults that take care of the little girl and explain to them that you and the father would like the pacifer use to stop. And telling the little girl to suck her thumb is harder to get her to stop than the pacifer simply because you cannot take her thumb away. lol..

Answer 6

dont let granny do this it will ruin her teeth

Answer 7

ITA with the above answer.