They think i had s*x!?

Question

My boyfriend Ryan was over @ my house last night. My parents were out for the whole night and came back this morning. Me and Ryan fell asleep 2 gether but did NOT have s*x!! we were just sitting next 2 eachother until 3 AM and i guess we both got tired. I mean, i guess my parent got a lil freaked when they saw their daughter (im 13 he's 14) sleeping with her BF with her head on his chest but NOTHING happened!! Now my parent r really pissed@ Ryan and i had 2 crawl out my window 2 c him 2day. i told them nothing happened but how do i convince them??

Answer 1

i had da same problem but eventually my parents saw i was telling da truth and forgave me

Answer 2

First off, I think your parents need to rethink leaving you at home alone all night long at thirteen years old. What did they expect to happen? However, as a woman who was once someone's thirteen year old daughter- I feel for you honey. It is definitely rough dealing with the constant watchful eye of parents, especially daddy... But I promise, they love you. That is why they are so concerned with what you are into. Anyway, you probably won't be able to convince them. Earning their trust over a period of time may lead to them being more likely to believe you. For now, grin and bear it. You know the truth, cherish the fact that you are true to yourself and are making responsible decisions.

Answer 3

u cant, they dont trust you u must of done something bad before that

Answer 4

they have serious trust problems

Answer 5

tell them that ur willing to get check out lol

Answer 6

They should be setting a better example and not allowing you to have a bf and exspecially a bf that comes over and stays at the house while the parents go out. That is not resposible parenting.

Answer 7

you can keep explaining that to them but if you snuck of out the house that just adds more drama to the whole situation

Answer 8

as a parent ,when I was young bin there done that .if you have an honest relationship with your parents sit-down with both of them and explain exactly what happen . First of all Ryan should have been, home long before then, this is where the biggest problem probably lies with your parents.Ryan's parents should have had him home,he should have had more respect for you,this is part of the growing up and maturing process Please sit-down with your mom and dad and have Ryan apologize to your parents.

Answer 9

From your parents' reaction, I'm going to guess you fell asleep together in your bedroom. This is a BIG no-no. From past Answers question you posted, you and I know you are serious about not having s*x yet. But, perhaps you should sit down with your parents and let them know and try to help them understand how serious you are about not having s*x yet and why you made these decisions. Just telling them you aren't ready to have s*x yet isn't enough. Explaining why reveals a level of depth and maturity that very well may evoke respect and trust from your parents. I know talking about this stuff with your parents isn't really something you want to do, but I think it is something you need to do.

And, don't sneak out with your boyfriend. If they catch you doing this, it will only add fuel to the fire. It not only shows disrespect, but it confirms they cannot trust you.

Believe me, though, I know where you're coming from. "They should trust me. Im thier child. Im growing up. They have to realize that." Been there myself for certain. But, it isn't really that they can't trust you. If their lives were on the line or if something extremely important had to be done to help the family, I'm sure they trust you in that respect. Also, Im sure they trust you not to steal from the household. But, when it comes to s*x, parents have to be somewhat paranoid, and a good parent worries about a son just as much as a daughter in this situation.

It isn't that they dont trust you. Rather, they're worried about you being tempted into doing something you'll regret. If you and Ryan start sleeping with each other, its only a matter of time before before you start REALLY thinking about s*x, and then actually having it. While they may trust you around Ryan in normal situations like visiting each other while parents are around, or going to the mall, or a movie, or whatever, they HAVE to be suspicious when you start sneaking around because the more you two are alone, the more s*x will come up. Plus, when you two are alone you will likely do things you wouldn't do with parents around.

Now, I'm not saying they cannot trust you. But, they are being good parents and really are looking out for you. The last thing you and Ryan need right now is privacy, especially after having to sit and talk about s*x and him feeling you up. I certainly understand your side of the argument, but you have to understand theirs as well. Put yourself in their shoes. Consider what they are taking into consideration. Only through understanding will you and your parents be able to sit down and calmly discuss this situation. After that, you and your parents shoudl be able to come to terms on this situation. Being mature, empathetic, and talking to them will get you far more respect and trust than sneaking behind thier backs or yelling at them because "they're supposed to trust you". Trust and respect has to be earned. And yes, even from a son or daughter.

Remember what I told you when I gave an answer about you and Ryan's sexual tension? You have to be loving, understanding, and never ever judgemental. Let your parents know you love them, let them know you understand thier concerns, and even if they irrate and upset, even judgemental, do not fight fire with fire; you only get a bigger fire. Being mature even when they are not will give you an upper hand and they will most likely take that into consideration.

Also, I wouldn't go into telling them about the sexual tension between the two of you. This will only make them more paranoid. Just let them know YOU decided not to have s*x, and no matter what boy you got with, this would be YOUR decision. And, most importantly, let them know why. Plus, even if this isnt a reason, tell them one reason you aren't going to have s*x yet is because you don't want to hurt them. You want thier trust, and would never want to betray that trust.

That's how I'd deal with it. But, I'm a guy and have had different experiences with my parents and thier concerns in trusting me. My advice may not be the best and maybe you'd prefer a different approach. Perhaps you'd prefer to take my some of my advice, and some from another person. It's up to you. Just use your head and approach this problem carefully and tactfully.

Take care :) and sorry for turning this into an essay ;)

Answer 10

If I were Ryan I would break up with you. Seriously, no s*x? This is a serious answer.

Answer 11

If u cant get through to them put the ball back in thier court. Dont get too personal just ask them if mabey its possible to be asleep with someone without actually having s*x. Mabey bring up some time that you based ur'e judgement on thier word.

Answer 12

Well Dont whine because they wont believe you. Just pick a good time when they are not busy and just talk to them. "mom, Dad, I did not have s*x with ryan. we were tired! that is all mom and dad :)"

Answer 13

That's a tough situation, sweetheart. Have you tried discussing it with your parents since it happened? I can't blame your parents for being upset. There are a lot of girls your age having children. Be thankful that your parents are upset. It means they care.

Answer 14

Better listen to your parents before you get in trouble. And STOP sneaking out of the window, that's becoming way too cliche now.

Answer 15

its not easy to convinve parents on something like that trust me i no. just be trustworthy and sit down with ur parents. look them in the eyes and say u swear or promise or something that u didnt. say ur to young for that and u no when to say no. just be truthful and look them in the eyes

Answer 16

Try and sit them down and talk to them honestly and say to them to trust you and that you would not do that without going to them first. Maybe get ryan to sit down with you and talk to them and say that it was merely falling asleep next to eachother. did they know he was coming over ect... because if you broke their trust there they may not be as understanding. Just try and see how it goes they will cool off and listen to you eventually.

Answer 17

well just be like you should know me better you know i wouldnt do that im still not ready and im still too young or something that you know they will like to hear.l0l. make them feel guilty too for thinking that..should work depending how much you know your parents. well best of luck hopefully they believe you.

Answer 18

You convince them by showing them that you are trustworthy.

A start would be NOT climbing out of windows to meet your boyfriend.  This is not the action of somebody who can be counted on not to try to deceive their parents.

Answer 19

don't let ryan over for a bit, let things cool down

and sneaking out will only make yoiur parents more paranoid. Be honest and don\t keep secrets

Answer 20

you've lost your parents' trust because of your lack of self respect.  keep the boys out of your room and treat yourself better.

Answer 21

Not that it excuses your behavior (crawling out the window), but your parents are morons. Anyone who would allow his/her 13 year old to stay at home at night with her boyfriend is just asking for trouble.

Quit sneaking out of the house. You could get hurt or caught and both would be bad for you! You sound like a good kid otherwise. Good girl to not have s*x at 13! You're smarter than a lot of girls your age.

Answer 22

if you are a virgin (which you should be) tell them to take you to the doctor and you will prove that you still are.

Answer 23

Be honest and they will eventually trust you!

They're your parents kid! They just want to protect you! Follow they're rules tho!

Don't sneak out to see him anymore ok?

Then, they may not believe you! Just follow what they say! And try to convince them that nothing happened! And if they won't believe you... just give it time! You will probably be able to see him again! Just give your parents time!

SMILE GOD LOVES YOU! =D

Answer 24

wahh! You're sooooo young I would freak out if I saw my kid like that too! but I think they have a right to be freaked out, but you should just calmly tell them as maturely as you can that you did not have s*x and that you are not ready for it, so you would not be having it... that type of thing.

Answer 25

convince them that they can trust you.