Things NOT to say to a traffic cop who's just stopped you?

Question

Like : Fancy a drink or are you on duty ??

Answer 1

Can you hold my beer while I grab my license for ya?

Answer 2

My taxes pay your salary.  You're a public servant.  Which means YOU work for ME.  So check my oil and clean my windshield before I slap the shiny off your badge.  AND MAKE IT SNAPPY, I'M IN A HURRY.  Boy, you got some d**n nerve turning on your siren that loud.  I almost spilled my drink.  Your lucky that didn't happen or I would have had the dry cleaning bill taken out of your salary.  Hey, why aren't you cleaning my windshield yet.  Are you retarded?  Do you understand english?  I bet your uncle got you this job because you sure don't look smart enough to pass the tests they give to stupid cops these days.  

Answer 3

You realy should cut back on the donuts.

Are you sure you weren't trying to race me?

I pay your salary, mister.

Answer 4

Now what the f*** do you want? I always drive on the sidewalk when I'm drunk,go bother someone else !

Answer 5

Bet you have never shot anyone

Answer 6

Geeze...you almost made me spill my rum and coke. Is that a gun or are you horney....

Answer 7

Hang on a second I'm on the phone...

*duh* lol

Answer 8

i smell bacon - thats ma personal fav!

Answer 9

License and proof of insurane?  I'd love to give you my license officer unfortunately it was suspended last year because of a DUI and I haven't had insurance since.

Answer 10

it wasnt me!! My sock puppet was driving!

Answer 11

Dude, you should really cut back on the donuts. I'm afraid one of those buttons might pop off and hit me in the eye.  

Answer 12

I pay your salary, leave me alone or i will fire you.

Is that your baton or are you glad to see me?

I have a gun under my leg

Is 5 double bourbons too many to drive on?

Answer 13

THERE ARE NO CORPSES IN THE TRUNK I SWEAR!!

Answer 14

Here's one that costs you over a hundred dollars.... I'd like a burger and fries, super size it, please. I guess there is no humor about them standing there with a notepad and pen. LOL

Answer 15

female cop.....feel like doin' anything?

male cop...why did you stop me, barney fife?